I hope this isn't what I think it is

I hope this isn't what I think it is

Russell Simmons in Miami (10/3)

I really hope this is Russell Simmons teaching an underprivileged youth how to read and not him giving her his phone number. I mean, I know he's rich, but doesn't this girl have standards? Russell Simmons isn't just ugly, he's "creepy dude you'd see on the Megan's Law website if you did a search for registered sex offenders in your neighborhood" ugly. The only time he should ever hang out with a chick that hot is if she's making $250/hr.

*31 Russell Simmons pictures total in the gallery:

The Federal Farmer

Lucky thing for 95% of us guys: Most women aren't near as shallow as we are and are able to see the worthwhile person under the creepy/ugly/fat/etc man.

Murphy

Hey, this guy is sensitive, cultured, nonthreatening, and a metrosexual male. He is what modern chicks really dig. They love these kind of guys and love to be loved by them.

Yeah

Exactly. Plus he's stupid rich, and not at all ugly, really.

Jen

Is he reading his own book?

Nick

Of course. It's what the obscenely rich do.

Nick

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