Tiger Woods praying to Vagis, God of the Whores

There was a report earlier this week that Tiger Woods bought a new bachelor pad in the Printing House building in Manhattan and was introducing himself to neighbors. Nope, chalk up the rumors to good ol' fashioned racism (i.e. all black people look alike). From Life & Style:

...several well-connected media and gossip sources who live in the building confirm to Life & Style that it's not Tiger Woods who has been going around introducing himself.

"There's an African-American man who's seen frequently in the building and dresses like Tiger," one of the sources tells Life & Style. "He drives a BMW and is an avid golfer -- he's often seen carrying his golf clubs around. But Tiger definitely doesn't live here.”

Thank god this story isn't true because Tiger let loose in New York is just a bad idea. That's like locking a kid in a candy store or Kirstie Alley in a Hometown Buffet. He'll have more gold-digging whores at his house than were on Monday night's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show. Tiger needs to start surrounding himself with the type of women that don't care about their physical appearance -- like those that live in Wisconsin or married Dean McDermott.

*5 Tiger Woods pictures total in the gallery:
[WENN]