Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino at Casino Pier on the Seaside Heights Boardwalk in New Jersey (8/21)

I need more of the Jersey Shore cast in my life about as much as I need more gaping head wounds. So I see the news that The Situation is going to appear on the next season of Dancing with the Stars as a giant "fuck you" to the rest of society by the show's producers. From OK!:

You might not think the tango, mamba or waltz would require rock-hard abs, but Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is setting out to show that his GTL skills can translate to the dance floor! OK! has exclusively learned that the Jersey Shore cast member who named his own muscles has signed on to the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars.

Rumor is Audrina Patridge is also appearing on the upcoming season of DWTS as well. With so much suck in one location, the fabric of time and space will surely collapse and cause a massive black hole . . . wait a minute, isn't that JWoww's nickname?

NOTE TO THE DWTS' EXECS: Taking one horrible character and sticking him on another crappy TV show never works. I mean seriously, didn't they ever see Joey?

NOTE TO WHOEVER THE SITUATION'S DANCING PARTNER IS ON THIS SHOW: When he hands you a drink at the afterparty after the finale, for god's sake, don't drink it.

*21 pictures total in the gallery:

[Flynet]