Jim Carrey at a 4th of July party in Malibu

When he's not busy secretly being a Scientologist, Jim Carrey is mowing down all the ass in Hollywood. He had an 11-some a few months ago, and he was spotted hitting on multiple chicks in Malibu earlier this month. Dude better back off my territory or he's gonna get cut. From the National Enquirer:
Star funnyman Jim Carrey, still solo romantically after his bustup with Jenny McCarthy, roamed all over a Malibu private beach checking out and chatting up one bikini-clad babe after another. Did Jim get lucky? Said my SpyWitness: "Who knows? He wound up jotting down four phone numbers on a newspaper he was holding."
What's most surprising about this story is how desperate Jim's become  that women actually gave him their phone number  that Jim was actually carrying around a newspaper. Who the hell reads the newspaper anymore? Those things are almost as outdated as his wacky shtick. Jim might as well have been walking around with a buggy whip or something even older and more useless -- like Jennifer Aniston's uterus.

*30 Jim Carrey pictures total in the gallery:
 

  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 1
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 2
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 3
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 4
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 5
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 1
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 2
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 3
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 4
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 5
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 6
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 7
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 8
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 9
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 10
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 11
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 12
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 13
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 14
  • Jim Carrey Desperate Hookup 15
[Mavrixonline]
  • Anonymous

    Stan Bellman 1962-2010.

  • vilma S.

    I WANT STAN! hey carrey Hocus Pocus!

  • crissty

    uh...the stan thing was REALLY funny, lol, I was laughing about it ALLL day! And then the next day, 2! Now when I look at you i laugh, lol...

  • Jim Carrey

    My god what am I doing. I'm sitting here all alone on my laptop watching the ocean. I feel sad. I just dont know if I can pull any more funny movies out of the hat like I did in the past. I'm afraid the magic is gone. I still have hope. but the industry is really bad now. I try to start some kind of spark, any spark that will set off a idea for my next big one. Thats why I came to this low key site. to see if it would work. but nothin. sure the stan thing was kind of funny. I got a few LOL's but man I need Magic baby. Real Magic. the boing kind. well maybe the funniest thing I could do is never be funny again. stay tuned folks.

  • crissty

    This doesn't sound like the other Jim Carrey above, are you being someone else again? For starters, do NOT sit on your laptop! you'll break it. Watching the ocean is cool, feeling sad is okay, too. But how the heck can you not be funny anymore? you're naturally funny. Are you going to become unnatural now? Starting a spark on a "low key" site? I don't get. It wouldn't be funny if you weren't funny again, which couldn't happen anyway because you were born funny!

  • vilma S.

    Hey stan roses are red violets are blue I really want your arm whats up with you?

  • crissty

    LOL

  • Jim Carrey

    Alllrrrighty Vilma S this is stan you and Carrey will just make me laugh if crissty and stan make his tooth fall out. Listen Jim what you said about Vilma was bad I think crissty and Carrey are....oooooshit.

  • crissty

    I don't know vilma, not gonna start pumping iron or anything but I was laughing all day, lol.

  • vilma S.

    Ya crissty your nice and all but your gonna have to toughen up girl or guys will be walkin all over you. Take me for example. I am a bodybuilder, not pro or anythin but I don't take no crap, you know whatt I mean? stan, while your knockin out sour cream and onion's other tooth there, not that I'm sayin thats right or anythin, why don't ya lend me your other arm, i love to arm wrestle.

  • Stans Bellsman .,/.''

    thats its carrry youd done its now i mad now you jeerkss io ill ooooo im angry noww oh boy this is getting bad i um i .. bellman

  • crissty

    LOL! Stan/Jim

  • Jim Carrey

    I'll drink to that.

  • Stan Bellman

    Thats it Carrey. You crossed the line. Its time for me to chip your other tooth. You got that punk! Nobody messes with Stan Bellman warehouse worker. yea so what I likes to have a few drinks one and awile. but u cant beat me up wimp. i will hits you so hard. i am really stong from lifting boxses all day. you dont look tough to me carrey. name the time and place and ill get you. you fanous wealthy dumby. it aint a problem for me to puch you even when im drunk ill still hurt you. Bellman

  • crissty

    Hi Stan, I don't know what a chipped tooth has to do with anything, lol. But Mr. Carrey has to work, too. Why else would he do it? Maybe not for income reasons, but for other reasons. Don't envy him because he may have alot of money. Money doesn't make a person any more special than someone without money. Maybe on the outside they look special with all their expensive clothing, etc...but on the inside, they are just like everyone else, could be creepy, could be nice. May have a heart, may not have a heart. I do think he's funny and I like his humour. He can make me laugh, and that is a good thing, lol. I don't think it's funny that he's poking fun at you about having to work, knowing that you expressed that maybe you don't enjoy your employment, though. He likes to throw fuel in the fire, maybe? Hmmm Mr. Carrey?

  • Jim Carrey

    Dear Stan. Have fun at work.

  • Im watching you Carrey....Stan

    All I can say is this crap about thetlans and they control your body is really getting on my nerves. He's a professional comedian you cant believe a word he says. He has the ability to turn into anybody he wants. I work hard all day long at the warehouse and all he does is kick his feet up on some patio furniture and look at the beach in malibu and gass off about thetlans and body being seperate nonsence. he makes me sick. he has a chipped tooth also. i bet you didnt know that. boy hes a jerk. he has really madd alot of people reading this angry dammit. I need to go pack my lunch for tomorrow. sorry for the misspellings but i dont have billions of dollars like mr Jim Carrey to spend on schooling. boy i hate him grrrrr. Stan Bellman

  • crissty

    Hi Stan, thank you very much for coming to my defense. I wasn't aware that I was being done wrong, though. Please explain. I thought I was having a conversation with someone about what he believes and what I believe. It was actually one of the most interesting conversations I have had in a long time. Is there something I missed? Maybe I am the dumb one.

  • Stan to Jim Carrey

    Listen you rich puke. if I ever catch you on the streets I will nock you out. How dare you do what you doing to this nice girl. You better watch yourself. Just because you have money and fame doesnt make you the all mighty. You have been playing with her long enough. Let other people express themselves. People are sick of you and your long hair anyway. Go to Malibu and stare at the ocean you sick loser. And your movies aint funny at all. You are Dumb and Dumber!!! If I read one more of your comments im reporting you to celebuzz. sicko. God bless crissty. Stan Bellman.

  • crissty

    I think your "thetan" does need to get through this life, why else would it be here? And it NEEDS a body to do it. You don't need to know why it is "operating" the body, it is "operating" in it right now and it needs the body right now. Do you not like to need?

  • Jim Carrey

    your thetan doesnt need to get through this life. it just seems like its that way to the linear thinking mind. your thetan has always existed even before humans. if thetans existed before humans they didnt need bodies then. get it. in order to really get to the bottom of this need use need use need use need use thing we have to know why thetan is "operating" body. Its operating body for the betterment of existence. I cant change your viewpoint with a few words online. you need to take the time to ponder this stuff. sorry about the baiting thing pal. when your famous its tricky. u dont always know if people are talking to you or the famous guy. the powerful comments i make are just healthy ego stuff. rock on crissty.... JC is free.

  • crissty

    I'm not baiting you, whatever that means. Is baiting a form of deceit? What do you mean people try to bait you? I am just trying to understand what it is you are talking about. No ill agenda going on over here. No person can read someone else's mind. They can guess or know what someone is thinking at certain times, if you know someone well enough, but not read their mind. I didn't google that RNM, but I will. So you're saying unwealthy people can't be powerful?

    Oh, if you have a nail stuck in a piece of wood, and you want to get it out, you will 'need' something to pull it out with. You can 'use' a hammer or 'use' a screwdriver' or 'use' pliers...you 'need' one of them, but you can 'use' any of them. Your "thetan" needs to get through this life. It needs your body because there is nothing else it can 'use' to do it with.

  • Jim Carrey

    All the thinking comes from thetan not brain. your brain is just meat. im thinking u might be baiting me. i get that alot. but lets try this angle. if thetan lives on after body dies why would it need body now. another cool subject is remote nueral monitoring. RNM. google it sometime. the elite that run this wourld just might be able to read our minds. sounds fake until u research it some. How do I define powerful life? wanna see my bank statement. aaaallllrightythen. by 4 now. chip Douglas.

  • crissy

    Isn't picking the thinking that your "thetan" is 'using' your body as opposed to 'needing' it changing your brain into thinking it doesn't need it when it really does? How do you define powerful life? I like you, too.

  • Jim Carrey

    the thetan has no mass, no wavelength, no energy and no time or location in space. the thetan then is not a thing. It is the creator of things. Now you see why you cant expect an answer to the sleeping ?. OK im going to lay it on the line for ya because i like u. nothing is absolute. but when you pick a certian way of thinking it literally changes your brain. and when that happens it changes your perception. and if you have a powerful perception you get a powerful life.

  • crissty

    Big bang is a theory. Theory based on saying that there was a huge explosion and this exploded things together.....but when there are explosions, things don't come together, they blast apart. If explosions brought things together, then why don't we just put a stick of dynamite on a site and voila! A house! Why waste all that time building one? I am not just my body, but my body carries me through this life. Where's your "thetan" while you're sleeping?

  • Jim Carrey

    When discovering who we truly are I want to include what happens after this body I operate dies. we can only tap into a small portion of who we are for now. we are infinite. I think you feel like we need our bodies because you have been conditioned to think thats who you are. you are not your body. you are thetan. think of it this way. after big bang humans come out of that. thetans come along and guide matter. that includes your body. big bang was just example. matter really came from nothing but im getting tired so goood nie sleepy so so sleepy i ohh shit.,,,wzzzzzzzzzzz

  • crissty

    When discovering who we truly are why not just be honest with ourselves and others. That will get to the truth. And what do you mean about the most powerful outcome? Powerful to who or what? I say we can't be freed from matter energy space and time especially because we need our bodies. Even when you use something, you still need it. And "using" sounds so cold. "Thetans" don't care about their bodies?

    I love your movies, but I haven't seen them all. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to see them. I don't think I am mad at you, I come across as angry?

  • Jim Carrey

    when it comes to discovering who we truly are you ask yourelf what the most powerful outcome would be. then you find the truth. I trust this outlook because its the most powerful. other thetans wouldnt claim my body when im away because its about truth and respect would come with that. you become more evolved as thetan by increasing self awareness. a person that isnt very evolved needs to be freed from matter energy space time. i do eat nutritious food. macs was my cheat meal. your thetan is useing your body. thats different than needing it. thetans not boy or girl. non physical remember. its fun talking with u. sometimes i feel like your mad at me. didnt u like my last movie.

  • crissty

    How can you say it can be done if you can't even do it? And besides, I wouldn't even want to leave my body. You didn't say whether other "thetans" can claim your body when you are away from it. What if they can? Then you're stuck somewhere without a body. And how do you become "more evolved" as a "thetan"?. And what is it that I am being freed from?

    The visual cortex creates the image of the car, you say...I say the the real image. Why do you say it is not the real or actual image of the object that we see? And shouldn't you be feeding your "meat suit" more nutritious food? I still say your "thetan" needs your body. Oh, and are there boy "thetans" and girl "thetans" or are they one and the same?

  • Jim Carrey

    you have the ability to know my thetan is right beside you, you just dont know how to tap into it yet. the same with me. i just dont know how to do it yet. the more we evolve as thetans the closer we will get to being able to do it. the seeing with the brain part has nothing to do with thetan i just had to pee and started to rush things. you never see the actual thing your looking at. like your car for example. your eye takes in the light the car sends off and turns that light into electrical signals that travel back to the visual cortex. thats where you see the car. time to hit macs drive threw. better put my hat on. dont feel like signin tonight. later pal. jc

  • crissty

    How would I know if your "thetan" is right beside me? And how would you know if it were? I'm still looking at the screen even if there's an image of it in my brain. When I turn my eyes to look at something else, I see that image. I have to look at it to see it. Otherwise blind people could see the screen, too. What's that got to do with your "thetan"?

  • Jim Thetan

    Yes my thetan could be right beside you and operating my body at the same time. remember its not a thing. it doesnt work with the laws of physics. you see you cant look for rational answers when there is no cause and affect, some things just happen. its like trying to explain existance. you cant because its not meant to be explained, it just is. your not looking at the actual screen in front of you. your seeing a image of it in your brain. i like to play with my army toys. bang bang you shot me. look mom its a plain in the sky. row row row your boat jently down the stream. life is but a dream be free crissty. time for a run.

  • crissty

    How can it be a mile away? Like as in daydreaming? Or you are saying that your "true self" could be right here beside me now while still operating your body over there? How can that be? If that is so, then I need you to come over here and demonstrate. But I am more than a mile away, many times a mile away. Will it still work? And what if other true selves are out and about while leaving their bodies behind, will they get captured and taken over by other true selves travelling around?

  • Jim Carrey

    your thetan has always existed. and it will always cont. to exist. a good place to start with all this stuff is pondering the relationship between the BODY BRAIN and MIND/THETAN. the part you really want to get is the mind/thetan is seperate from the body and brain. think of your body like its a meat suit. just flesh and bones. now the "thing" that operates it can be a mile away if it wants. that thing is your true self or thetan. your true self has always been here and will always be here. it doesnt know anything about time space matter energy. its non physical. good luck crissty. Tom Cruise. just kidding ha ha.

  • crissty

    so how does your "thetan" get through this life without a body?

  • Jim Carrey

    Hi crissty. Your true self is not dependent on anything

    your true self/thetan doesnt have to get through anything. your thetan has cause over your body. that eliminates dependency. of course im rich in heart. would i be spending all this time helping you. OMG the hills is on i have to go. i luv lauren conrad.

  • chrissty

    "Your true self" is dependant on your body to carry it through this life on earth. My body needs matter space energy and time. Rich in money? Or rich in heart?

  • Jim Carrey

    Yes crissty your body needs food electricity space time. but you dont need that stuff. your true self is not dependent on matter energy space time. because your true self is seperate from your body. Dont test me im rich. and u have to work! ha ha just kidding. i luv u.

  • Jim Carrey

    I am really excited about my outlook on my life as a operating thetan. My body and my brain are seperate from my mind. My mind is also called thetan/thought. This thing called thetan is my true self. and it has no physical substance. I am not a so called scientologist. I have simply taken some of the information from scientology and used it my way. When you start to see life from a thetans view it is very powerful. I am free 4 ever and I dont need matter energy space or time. I will see u all shortly. I'm staying low for awhile. just business. sssspank you very much. all u need is love.


Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: