August 2010 NUDE!

Heidi Johnsen

Norwegian model Heidi Johnsen

*16 Heidi Johnsen photos total in the gallery:

Salma Hayek leaving Madeo Restaurant in West Hollywood (8/30)

Salma Hayek dined at Madeo last night in West Hollywood and for some strange reason, everyone in the restaurant couldn't stop staring at her. Waiters, line cooks, bathroom attendants, busboys, everyone. Was it what she ordered? Who she was with? I'm afraid we may never know.

*30 Salma Hayek pictures total in the gallery: 

What actress does that butt belong to? Identity revealed on PAGE 2 (click the picture to jump) . . .

+ Marisa Miller's ass is very inviting [IDLYITW]

+ Why don't we see Katy Perry's nipples more often? [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Holy shit I thought this chick was dead [PopEater]
+ Chick from Real Housewives topless (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ That's Miley's biker slut outfit [Celebuzz]

+ I love cool explosions [College Humor]
+ Seriously Anne Hathaway, what did you do to yourself? [Socialite Life]
+ Gotta love hand bras [Double Viking]
+ Paris Hilton is an excuse machine [I'm Not Obsessed]

LIST OF THE DAY: The 7 Most Depressing Theories for Dinosaur Extinction

*32 photos total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton might actually go to jail

If Paris Hilton isn't already shitting herself over the felony she was charged with yesterday, she should be. The D.A. handling her case is the same dude who locked up O.J. And he's running for reelection. Uh oh. From Radar:

"[Las Vegas District Attorney David] Roger won't tolerate celebrities coming to Las Vegas and thinking they can get away with illegal behavior," the source close to the case told RadarOnline.com. "It's going to be extremely difficult for Paris to get out of these charges, even with the brilliant legal skills of her lawyer, David Chesnoff."

Roger is running for reelection and has a record of high-profile victories in the legal arena.

“This is a high profile case, right before a very important election, and it's very likely that there will be no plea bargaining down of these charges," said the source.

It just goes to show you how fucked up Los Angeles is when a D.A. outside the city who actually does his job (i.e. he doesn't selectively enforce laws based on how many entries you have on your IMDB page) is viewed as some kind of crime-fighting superhero. And it's not like L.A.'s getting any better. How do you fix a broken criminal justice system? You don't. Hell, I live in San Diego and even I'm hoping Southern California breaks off into the sea during the next big earthquake.

*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Rachel Uchitel is getting blacklisted

Rachel Uchitel wants to buy a new apartment in New York with some of the $10 million in hush money Tiger Woods paid her, but she's having a tough time since most buildings in the city have a strict "No Whores Allowed" policy. Tough break. From the National Enquirer:

Sources say she's trying to settle down in a newly renovated three-bedroom, three-bath New York City Park Avenue condominium listed at $1,995,000. but a local real estate insider told The Enquirer exclusively that even though Rachel has the money to buy the place outright, the condo board is "fighting tooth and nail to keep her out."

"Rachel made out really well from her affair with Tiger- thanks to lawyer Gloria Allred- but that doesn't mean she's considered respectable by the board," continued the insider. "Manhattan is famous for being ultra-selective when it comes to approving who buys apartments, and this luxury building is no different. They consider Rachel a homewrecker and money-grubber, and don't buy into the idea that she is a respectable celebrity."

"Rachel believes she made her money fair and square and should be able to buy whatever apartment she can afford," added the insider. "But the other homeowners feel she helped break up Tiger's marriage and profited from it, and she's not the type of person they want as a neighbor."

Who would have thought that being an infamous whore who had her face plastered by Tiger Woods all over the tabloids would come back to haunt her? Rachel needs to realize that just because she has millions of dollars doesn't mean she has any class. She needs to leave New York ASAP and go live with people more like her -- people who don't have a problem whoring themselves out and spending another person's money inappropriately: like Congress. Do they have any rooms for rent?

*20 Rachel Uchitel pictures total in the gallery: 

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Emmanuelle Chriqui at the "Women In Film Pre-Emmy Party" at The Sunset Marquis Hotel in West Hollywood (8/28)

*21 Emmanuelle Chriqui pictures total in the gallery: 

Jim Carrey at a 4th of July party in Malibu

When he's not busy secretly being a Scientologist, Jim Carrey is mowing down all the ass in Hollywood. He had an 11-some a few months ago, and he was spotted hitting on multiple chicks in Malibu earlier this month. Dude better back off my territory or he's gonna get cut. From the National Enquirer:

Star funnyman Jim Carrey, still solo romantically after his bustup with Jenny McCarthy, roamed all over a Malibu private beach checking out and chatting up one bikini-clad babe after another. Did Jim get lucky? Said my SpyWitness: "Who knows? He wound up jotting down four phone numbers on a newspaper he was holding."

What's most surprising about this story is how desperate Jim's become  that women actually gave him their phone number  that Jim was actually carrying around a newspaper. Who the hell reads the newspaper anymore? Those things are almost as outdated as his wacky shtick. Jim might as well have been walking around with a buggy whip or something even older and more useless -- like Jennifer Aniston's uterus.

*30 Jim Carrey pictures total in the gallery: 

Miranda Kerr topless!

In what I'm hoping will become a trend, Vogue Italy has some 3D topless pics of Miranda Kerr in their September issue. It's basically just like Avatar except you cum.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Miranda Kerr topless pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*25 Miranda Kerr topless pictures total in the gallery: 

NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

Paris Hilton's boyfriend Cy Waits

Damn, it's been a rough couple of days for Cy Waits. First, the entire world finds out he's dating Paris Hilton and now this . . . From E!:

E! News has exclusively learned from multiple sources that Waits was fired from his position as head of nightclub operations for Wynn and Encore properties shortly after the couple's Las Vegas arrest. Waits was charged with driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Hilton was rung up on a cocaine-possession count.

Steve Wynn had just promoted Waits and twin brother Jesse to the high-profile gig Wednesday, but he was promptly dismissed just hours after being jailed.

"Wynn has a zero-tolerance policy with their club execs when it comes to brushes with the law," said one Las Vegas insider.

What an idiot -- this guy had to know something bad was going to happen if he dated Paris Hilton. Of course he probably thought it would involve a lot of itching and not a trip to the unemployment line. The bottom line is that going out with Paris Hilton is kind of like breaking a mirror. Except, you don't get bad luck for seven years -- you get a rash.

*13 Cy Waits and Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery: