John Stamos at the opening-night after party for the Broadway musical Promises, Promises held at The Plaza Hotel in New York (4/25)

The trial of Allison Coss (this chick), 24, and Scott Sippola, 31, began this week in Marquette, Michigan. The two are charged with trying to extort $680,000 out of Uncle Jessie aka John Stamos. His mistake? The handsome devil just wanted to get high and go down on a 17-year-old to get over the depression caused by his supermodel wife dumping him. If I had a nickel . . . From HuffPo:

A woman charged with conspiring to bilk actor John Stamos of hundreds of thousands of dollars had a brief romantic fling with him when she was a 17-year-old high school student during a spring break trip to Florida in 2004, an attorney said Monday.

"Romantic fling"? You mean "statutory rape"? Who the hell wrote this article, Roman Polanski?

[Allison] Coss, 24, and [Scott] Sippola, 31, both of Marquette, are accused of conspiring to extort $680,000 from Stamos by telling him they had photos of him with cocaine and strippers. Coss and Stamos met in Orlando, Fla., in 2004 - shortly after Stamos had separated from his wife, actress and supermodel Rebecca Romijn. The couple divorced the next year.

[Defense lawyer Sarah] Henderson said Stamos, now 46, noticed Coss and another girl at a club, asked friends to bring them over and later invited the star-struck teens to his hotel room. Stamos ordered a drink for Coss even after she told him she was 17, Henderson said.

Two women

You mean angels?

who worked as strippers eventually showed up in the room with a bag of cocaine, she said, and Coss and her friend took a picture of Stamos bending over a table where the drugs had been laid out.

Henderson said Stamos and Coss later kissed on a bed and got into a hot tub together after Stamos undressed and Coss stripped to her underwear. She said Stamos offered to perform oral sex on Coss, but she declined.

The age of consent in Florida is 18-years-old. Age of consent is not like horseshoes. Close doesn't count

Stamos eventually became frustrated, broke a bedpost with his hand and left the room before apologizing and inviting Coss to spend the night, which she did, Henderson said.

JOHN STAMOS MAD!!! JOHN STAMOS SMASH!!!

For the next few years, they maintained a "flirty kind of relationship" by e-mail, Henderson said.

Stamos received two e-mails last fall from a "Jessica T" who claimed she was pregnant and Stamos was the father, Vermaat said. Later came a series of e-mails from a "Brian L" describing allegedly compromising photos and saying they would be sold to tabloids if Stamos did not buy them for $680,000.

Prosecutors contend Coss and Sippola sent the e-mails.

Stamos contacted the FBI, Vermaat said. During testimony, two agents described a sting operation that ended with Coss and Sippola's arrest at K.I. Sawyer International Airport near Marquette, where an agent posing as a Stamos representative had promised to leave a bag of cash.

If getting high on stripper-supplied cocaine, getting a 17-year-old drunk, making out with her, exposing your penis to her in a hot tub, begging to go down on her, and then having her spend the night where you presumably had sex with her is wrong, then dammit, I don't want to be right.

*11 pictures total in the gallery:
[WENN]