Tom and Katie have an open marriage

“Check out the ass of the dude in the second row!”

What’s that you say? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage doesn’t resemble that of Ward and June Cleaver? *peels self off of floor* — From IUC:

A close friend of the couple told me the couple rarely spend time together. “It’s somewhat of an open marriage,” the source told IUC. “Like Tom’s ex Nicole Kidman I think Katie has grown tired of Tom’s obsession with Scientology.”

Of course their marriage is “open” — Katie needs to be with a guy who doesn’t require a booster chair every time they sit down at a restaurant, and Tom needs a woman who may or may not have been born a man — aka Meg Whitman. Hopefully for Suri’s sake, these two will one day settle their differences and find a way to be happy with each other. And on that day, Tom will buy platform shoes and Katie will fill her prescription for testosterone pills.

June 25, 2010 - 1:00 pm