Richard Simmons is gay? GTFOOH!

The National Enquirer is breaking the news that notorious lothario Richard Simmons may actually be gay. I know, right? Did not see that one coming. I may have to reevaluate my entire life after this shocking revelation. I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore. From the tabloid:
"SHHH! We'll have to be quiet. My mother 's asleep upstairs." That's what a gay escort claims flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons whispered when he came to Simmons' TinselTown home in the mid-'80s for paid sex! And it's just one of the incredible anecdotes in former porn star Bruce Headrick's steamy unpublished memoir: "Tell Secrets, Tell No Lies," about his days as a gay hustler to the stars.

Now 48 and living in Las Vegas, Headrick tells The Enquirer that his first tryst with Simmons was in 1986 when his then-agent sent him to the West Hollywood home of the "Sweatin' to the Oldies" star. "My agent repped many male porno stars and also booked them as escorts. He arranged for me to meet with Richard five or six times." said Headrick, whose porn name was Blake McDonald. "The first time, Richard answered the door in his signature tank top and curly frizzed-out hair. He quickly put a finger to his lips and whispered, 'Shhh! We'll have to be quiet. My mother's asleep upstairs.' "Richard's mother was living with him at the time, and didn't want her to find out what or who he was up to." (Print Edition - 6/21)
Is anyone surprised that Richard Simmons had to pay for gay sex? The guy looks like the illegitimate love child of Rosie O'Donnell and a Chia Pet. If I saw him on the street, I wouldn't know whether to get his autograph or water him. What I really want to know is when Richard and this porn star were getting it on, did he pop in a Jerry Lee Lewis CD for mood music? Nothing gets me in the mood to blow another guy better than "Great Balls of Fire."

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[Flynet]
  • Ummmm, sequined pink tank tops and booty shorts, and some people are acting surprised he's gay? this man is great and kind but he lost his street cred as a straight man years ago

  • Sweaty McBallz

    How does a retarded freak like RS get even half a minute on TV let alone HIS OWN SHOW?!?!?! What is wrong with you Americans?? You should all be deeply ashamed that you all consider this waste of semen, entertainment? How can you justify making this incredibly annoying, not pleasing to the eye, reverse bowl-legged, mind numbingly vapid weasel a star? He should not have been allowed on TV for the world to see...you should have stuffed him in a burlap bag and chucked him out into some ocean...I shudder to think how many children were scarred mentally by the mere sight of this garden gnome prancing around in tights...

    ps: For the record, none of my comments are directed at his homosexuality. Hell, his homosexuality fades away and becomes moot amid all the other shit that is just plain wrong with this annoying little turd.

  • BobNYC

    Yeah, but did you all know that RS's thing is to get spanked? The hustlers from E. 51st used to talk about it all the time because his limo would cruise until he saw the spanker he wanted. "Tell me I'm a bad boy..."

  • A. Sefa

    The more shocking thing to me is that a guy named Bruce Headrick thought he had to have a porn name. His is already perfect!

  • Anonymous

    He is what he is. Thats my story and I am sticking with it.

  • NeNe

    Come on now! Like we didn't already known about him. It's so friggen obvious.

  • Johnny Eumarr

    The biggest joke is that the out-of-shape porker claims to be a fitness guru. I guess you appear that way when you can do more can-can kicks than a 300# housewife.

  • Carlos

    The first clue was...awe fuck it.

  • 8 inches

    The last time I saw someone's head covered with so many pubic hairs I was watching a Bukake video.


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