March 2010 NUDE!

Ana Claudia Michels

Brazilian model Ana Claudia Michels

Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, March 31

Ali Larter leaving Whole Foods in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Adrian Grenier jogging in L.A. (pics start here)

Vanessa Hudgens out and about in Toluca Lake (pics start here)

Reese Witherspoon at the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Zac Efron at the Chateau Marmont Hotel in Hollywood (pics start here)

Tori Spelling out and about in L.A. (pics start here)

Danny Glover leaving a medical building in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum leaving the Soho hotel in London (pics here)

Tina Fey and Steve Carell at a photocall for their new film Date Night held at the Hotel de Rome in Berlin (pics start here)

Jessica Lowndes appearing on the Much on Demand Show in Toronto (pics here)

Kristin Cavallari leaving Lynn's Nail Salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Paris Hilton leaving the Fred Segal boutique in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jesse Metcalfe leaving the Staples Center in L.A. (pics start here)

*142 pics total in the gallery

Alicia Witt on the set of the TV pilot Edgar Floats in Venice, CA (3/24)

+ Fug Fergie looks like the Tron Guy [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Celebrity no pants day [CityRag]
+ I actually like this show [Just Jared]
+ Rihanna is see through (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ What a fucking bitch [PopEater]

+ Scarlet Johansson is hot again [Popoholic]
+ Cheryl Cole is tapping that ass [moejackson]
+ Ha Ha, Carrie Prejean got sued [Litely Salted]
+ These whores have no damn shame [Cele|bitchy]

LIST OF THE DAY: 25 Babies with Laser Eyes

Cher leaving La Vida restaurant in Hollywood (2/9)

Cher's not even fucking around anymore. She knows that if she wants to date a younger man, she's going to have to open up her checkbook. Get it? Because old people still use checks. From the National Enquirer:

Does Cher have a new boytoy? The Hollywood legend dropped a cool $20,000 on clothes for a hunky young guy at Barneys New York in Beverly Hills on March 20. The 63-year-old Oscar winner personally helped the handsome 30-something select jeans, jackets, shirts and shoes before she plunked down her credit card and flashed him a dazzling smile. The "Moonstruck" star seemed lovestruck.

Is having to date Cher worth $20,000 in clothing? No . . . unless part of the ensemble is a sleep mask for you and a muzzle for her. Besides, Cher doesn't need to go around buying guys clothes for their affection. She just needs to date the kind of person that apparently doesn't care about someone's advanced age or grotesque appearance -- like Larry King's wife or Soon-Yi.

Samantha Ronson leaving the Mayfair Hotel in London (3/21)

Like most people, Lindsay Lohan's ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson thinks the troubled star is going to die soon. The only difference is that she's openly encouraging her death. Lindsay tweeted the following message over the weekend:

i need more followers lol    
2:23 PM Mar 27th via web

Sam responded:

@lindsaylohan i'll only follow if you're starting a cult driven mass suicide.    
6:03 PM Mar 27th via web in reply to lindsaylohan

Ouch, that must suck when the only woman you've ever loved turns her back on you. You know what also sucks? Looking like Sam Ronson. Advantage: Lindsay.

Ed Westwick is a douche of the highest order

Make sure you stick around today because later I'll be explaining who the hell Ed Westwick is and why he's famous. From the New York Daily News:

Hey there, upper East Siders: We hear that "Gossip Girl" guy Ed Westwick can't quite keep his cool. A patron at LES hot spot Los Feliz is claiming that the Brit became extremely heated during a recent night out after deciding that his dinner was being disturbed.

"Ed came over and was like, 'Stop taking my picture!'" says the snapper, who insists he initially didn't even know who "Chuck Bass" was and was simply trying to capture memories of his own evening. "He started shouting obscenities at me and getting in my face. He was all bitter and s—. I thought it was a joke."

But it most certainly wasn't: The amateur cameraman soon realized just how angry Westwick was ("He walked off in a cloud of disgust," he says), but decided he wasn't going to take the insult sitting down.

"I went over to him and asked him who he thought he was, and he dissolved into a fit of rage," says the man, who continued taking pictures of his party. Soon after, he says he was approached by the manager of the restaurant, who told him he had to leave at Ed's request.

Newsflash to famous people: Unless you're Kirstie Alley and you're so fat that there are actually worlds revolving around you, the world doesn't revolve around you . . . especially if you're some emo douchebag whose only claim to fame is a faux reality show on the CW. Unfortunately for Ed, acting like a diva in public is reserved for those that have made bigger contributions to the entertainment industry than he has -- like the ShamWow guy or Kate Gosselin's vagina.

Madonna's bags at Heathrow airport in London (3/29)

See all those bags? They're Madonna's. For a trip to Malawi. Malawi in Africa, not Malawi the vacation hotspot in the South of France. I count 26 bags. 26 bags she's taking to a Third World country. In Madonna's defense, Malawi doesn't have paved roads and nothing makes unpaved roads more comfortable on your feet than Gucci leather pumps.

Amanda Seyfried

Amanda Seyfried at a screening of Dear John held at the Odeon Kensington in London (3/30)

Mischa Barton leaving Madeo restaurant in West Hollywood (3/28)

According to my rough calculations, Mischa Barton has been drinking for 19 years. Despite this, she still can't hold her alcohol. From the New York Post:

Mischa Barton had a rough night over the weekend in Hollywood. A spy reports that the "O.C." actress, who alternates between being on and off the wagon, rolled into Bar Marmont on Saturday alone and looking "totally out of it."

Says our witness, "A few minutes after she comes in, she runs outside and vomits everywhere. And then she went back inside and hung out for the rest of the night." A rep for Barton declined to comment.

It's probably safe to assume that most of the chicks in a trendy Hollywood bar like Marmont didn't judge Mischa for puking her brains out -- since they do the same thing after every meal. If Mischa's not careful however and continues to do things that cause her to vomit all of the time, she may find herself becoming something she hasn't been in years: hireable.

Jesse James is a Nazi?

This Jesse James Nazi stuff is really getting out of control. It's like the media is trying to create a story out of nothing. I mean honestly, who among us can say they've never donned a Nazi officer's cap and saluted der Führer?