NEVER HAVE KIDS

Flavor Flav at the 2010 AVN Awards in Las Vegas (1/9)

Especially if you're a washed-up rapper and you're only source of income is twice-monthly $275 residual checks from VH1. From the New York Post:

Flavor Flav owes the mother of three of his kids nearly $65,000 in back child support, according to court filings. Flav has an outstanding balance of $63,458 to the Albany County Child Support collection unit for the care of three kids he had with Mary Parker. In July 2008, she filed to amend her child-support agreement with Flav since one drafted in 1996 covered just two of their kids. She won an appeal in January increasing Flav's payments from $117 to $837.72 a week for child support, plus tuition for the kids' private school, retroactive to the 2008 filing. "The judgment is recent as I was just made aware of it," Flav told us, adding, "I'll certainly be addressing it. However, I've made payments on my children's tuition, and have made direct payment to the mother outside of the court order."

Now I'm not saying I'm a world-famous detective, but this story seems a little fishy. Not the part about Flavor Flav owing tens of thousands of dollars in child support, but the part where he's speaking in complete sentences. Flavor Flav doesn't use phrases like "however" and "made aware of" -- he says things like "yeaaaah booooy" and "no, my face wasn't maimed by a mountain lion." Therefore, I believe I can say with complete confidence that the case of "The Publicist Speaking on Behalf of Flavor Flav" has been solved. Now, to find my nemesis, Professor Moriarty . . .

[Flynet]

Miss Tolerance

@Pat: Is there a reason why your last name is Mc"Groin"? I ask this because I wish every "nigger" on earth could kick you in yours. You don't deserve life, MORON.

Pat_McGroin

And this is why niggers should be neutered at birth. Not killed. After all, someone has to drive the taxis, mop the floors, provide fuel for racist jokes, eat the world's production of chicken & watermelon, make the rest of us look so worthwhile, etc etc etc. I've never even heard of this particular shitskin, so I consider myself quite fortunate. It be back to da cotton fields fo dis boy.

Gianna

I'm sure she only slept with him in hopes she'd get pregnant so she'd have a constant flow of money. Guess the joke is on her.

DMZ

If there ever was a Poster Child for Abortion then you're looking at it, Flavor Flav is a fucking moronic asshole. Shit, I wouldn't wipe my ass with that face for fear of catching something. Any Ho that sleeps with this cocksucker needs her fucking head examined! Word Bitch!

Peter Gozinya

Anyone that would sleep with this guy not only deserves to not get child support, but should have their reproductive organs removed.

New York

I demand VH1 make "Flavor of Love 4, the Search for Child Support". VH1 can hide money all over LA and Flav and his ladies can go on treasure hunts for it. The ladies that don't find the cash gotta go home.