January 2010 NUDE!

Wendy Dubbeld

Dutch model Wendy Dubbeld

Kim Kardashian leaving Dan Tana's restaurant in West Hollywood (1/27)

Maddox as in Maddox Jolie-Pitt. As in 8-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt. Kid is absolutely smitten with Kim Kardashian. From OK!:

When Maddox Jolie-Pitt attended a recent New Orleans Saints game with dad Brad Pitt, football came second. A lengthy OK! investigation can now reveal that Maddox was more interested in the giant TV screens flashing pictures of Kim Kardashian in her luxury box.

“He has a huge crush on Kim,” a family insider tells OK!. “He thinks she is the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. Well, he used the words ‘hottest girl’ to be exact.”

Maddox, 8, got “all giggly” when Kim, 29, appeared on the screen.

Can you really blame little Maddox for being infatuated with Kim? She has the one thing every eight-year-old boy on earth fantasizes about: huge tits a hot ass a PlayStation 3. In all seriousness, I could see these two hooking up in 10 years. "Hey bitch, $40 gets me two songs in the Champagne Room! I demand to see your manager!"

Sophie Monk leaving Coffee Bean in L.A. (1/25)

+ Milla Jovovich is not wearing pants [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Angelina Jolie did what with Lady Gaga? [Cele|bitchy]
+ Suri Cruise is not happy [Just Jared]
+ Paris is such a classy girl (semi-NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Once again: Jimmy Kimmel > Jay Leno [The Blemish]

+ Britain's finest export, Layla Kayleigh [Holy Taco]
+ Neil Patrick Harris the new Simon Cowell? [A Socialite's Life]
+ More Tiger gay rumors [Yeeeah!]
+ Then maybe she shouldn't have dropped to 79 pounds [I'm Not Obsessed] 

LIST OF THE DAY: Top 5 Kick-Ass Concert Intros from Top Bands

Tila Tequila shopping at Kitson For Kids boutique in West Hollywood (1/28)

10 minutes after this picture was taken with Tila Tequila, that doll had to be melted down. It's now a recycled hairbrush. With herpes :(

Joe Jackson still wants him a piece of the pie

Joe Jackson still hasn't given up the fight. And I'm not talking about for social justice. For his son's money. Aw, how heartwarming. From RadarOnline:

Joe Jackson has come one step closer to cashing in on his late son, Michael Jackson's estate. In court Thursday Judge Mitchell Beckloff set an evidenciary hearing for May 26th for Joe Jackson's request for a family allowance.

But it won't be plain sailing for Joe, Margaret Lodise, the guardian ad litem for Michael Jackson's children told the judge, "I have concerns about the request because Joe Jackson isn't a beneficiary of the estate."

Brian Oxman appeared on behalf of Joe Jackson who wasn't in court in person. Katherine Jackson's legal ace attorney Adam Streisand told RadarOnline.com, "Katherine supports Joe receiving some type of allowance, we just don't how much is appropriate."

Is anyone surprised Joe Jackson is asking for an allowance from his late son's estate? The guy has less-self respect than a stripper with an abusive father.* If Joe is really desperate for money, he shouldn't be airing his grievances in such a public forum. He should know by now that Michael's attorneys usually like to keep cash payouts quiet and under the table. Seriously Macaulay, that underwear thing never happened. Got it?

*please note, in place of "a stripper with an abusive father," the judges would have also accepted "a Perez Hilton reader," "a contestant on Biggest Loser," and "Jessica Simpson"

Brooke Hogan is not a size 2

Even though no one has EVER claimed this EVER, Brooke Hogan would like to clear up the misconception -- that again, no one has EVER claimed -- that she's a size 2. Really Brooke? You need publicity this bad right now? She told Life & Style:

"Whoever invented Photoshop was a genius, but it sets a bad example for what ‘healthy’ is," says Brooke. That’s why she came to Life & Style to do a bikini shoot on Jan. 12 — with the agreement that the photos wouldn’t be retouched or altered in any way. So instead of relying on airbrushing, she’s proudly embracing her natural curves. "I’m not a size 2 and probably never will be," she says. "That’s something I had to get out of my head a long time ago."

Although she may never be a size 2, Brooke has recently managed to lose 15 pounds. And one person who thinks Brooke looks better than ever is her proud papa, Hulk Hogan. "Brooke is absolutely gorgeous and doesn’t need Photoshop," Hulk tells Life & Style. "She’s been working her butt off." Most important, she’s finally just plain happy with her figure. "I feel really confident and comfortable in my body," she says. "I feel feminine. I even like myself naked in the mirror! There’s always room for improvement, but I really do love my body."

"I feel feminine." Brooke Hogan is finally happy she feels feminine. So I guess estrogen therapy does work.

Ben Affleck at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, UT (1/23)

In August of 2001, after Ben Affleck checked himself into the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, his spokesman said this:

"Ben is a self-aware and smart man who had decided that a fuller life awaits him without alcohol. He has chosen to seek out professional assistance, and is committed to traveling a healthier road with the support of his family, friends and fans."

And on Wednesday, RadarOnline said this:

Affleck was seen drinking vodka at a Sundance Film Festival party this past weekend. At the party for his new movie [The Company Men], Affleck “immediately sat down at a VIP table and grabbed the bottle of Absolut in front of him and poured a drink," a source told RadarOnline.com.

Publicists, staffers and others were stunned because they know that Affleck is an admitted alcoholic. They got rid of all the photographers near the area to protect Affleck.

Can you really blame Ben for hitting the bottle? He hasn't starred in a relevant movie in years. The only time he ever gets any press these days is when a recently released film is so bad it's compared to Gigli. Now I'm not saying getting plastered is the right way overcome your problems . . . but there's a good chance he finally realized that crappy vodka is the only way he won't notice his wife's hideously deformed pinky toe (click here).

Julianne Hough

Julianne Hough at the "EIF's Women's Cancer Fund" benefit at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills (1/27)

Michael Lohan at the "Halfway To The Jersey Shore" in Philadelphia (1/22)

If Lindsay Lohan thinking about getting her dad Michael an early Father's Day gift, may I suggest bail money? He was arrested yet again yesterday in New York. From AP:

Police on New York's Long Island say Michael Lohan was arrested Thursday morning and charged with criminal contempt. Police did not provide further details.

Bryan Konoski, an attorney for Lohan's ex-girlfriend Erin Muller, has told the New York Post that Lohan allegedly phoned Muller at work Jan. 21. That would violate an order of protection.

Lohan had been arrested on a similar charge in December.

In June, a judge said Lohan would avoid prosecution on an aggravated harassment charge if he stayed out of trouble for a year. Lohan denied he threatened to kill his girlfriend and himself if she left him.

Lohan's attorney had said his client is the victim of fabrications.

Whew, that was close -- January was almost over without a Lohan being arrested. The streak was almost broken. Did you know a Lohan family member has been arrested every month for 113 straight months? Seriously, that's such a crazy fact that I couldn't possibly make it up. It's in the Guinness Book of World Records and everything. I'm predicting Ali to go down in February. Something about her just screams "I have a tiny meth lab in my closet that my mom thinks is a project for chemistry class, even though I haven't been to school in two years."

Miss Michigan Nicole Blaszczyk during Day 3 of the Miss America Preliminary Competition at Planet Hollywood Theater in Las Vegas (1/28)

If Miss Michigan doesn't win the Miss America pageant tomorrow, there's a god damn conspiracy. That, or all the judges are gay.