December 2009 NUDE!


Charlie Sheen is paying off his nannies

Charlie Sheen's nannies are going to have a very nice new year . . . a new year full of $20s, $50s, and $100s. From the Chicago Sun Times:
Turns out the ugly Christmas Day confrontation between Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller, has turned into a bit of a windfall for the two nannies present in the couple’s Aspen home — both of whom were witnesses to the big blowup.

According to a Sheen family insider, both women have received "hefty" extra bonuses — above and beyond their regular holiday cash gifts — supposedly to soothe any angst caused by the big fight.

However, the source adds, "It’s pretty clear that cash is really hush money, to keep them from spilling the beans to the tabloids."
If there's anyone in this world entitled to "hush money" (I mean besides my next door neighbor's kid who just had to go poking around my crawlspace), it's definitely Charlie Sheen's nannies. Can you imagine all the shit they've seen over the years? The only thing they've probably disposed of more than bed sheets soaked with petroleum-based lubricants are over-dosed hookers. Let's just hope Charlie didn't pay the nannies their money in $100s. Those things probably have more coke residue on them than Nicole Kidman's face.

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Kate Hudson out and about in Aspen (12/22)

Since she got dumped two weeks ago, Kate Hudson won't leave Alex Rodriguez alone. Awk-ward. From Betty Confidential:
Breaking up is hard to do. Just ask Kate Hudson, who has been leaving phone messages for her ex, Alex Rodriguez, frequently since they split earlier this month. An insider tells BettyConfidential that the Nine star has been reaching out to A-Rod but the Yankee third baseman isn’t taking her calls.

“Kate realizes now that she drove Alex away by being so pushy about marriage,’’ the source says. “She’s left him messages, but he hasn’t returned her calls. She wants to talk to him about how they can work it out without having to tie the knot.”

But Alex is telling friends that he’s moved on. According to the insider, A-Rod’s told pals that he’s not angry with Kate — he still has feelings for her — but he doesn’t believe that she would settle for anything less than marriage. “He thinks that after a month or two, she’ll start needling him about setting the date and he’s not ready to get married again."
Let this be a lesson to all the wannabe sports star groupies out there: There are only three things that'll drive away a world famous athlete faster than pushing for a wedding date: 1. Gaining five pounds, 2. Becoming a brunette, and 3. Insisting he wear a condom. If Kate's goal is to get a man to settle down with her, she only has to do one thing: get a boob job pregnant her vocal chords removed.

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Keira Knightley

Keira Knightley leaving the Comedy Theatre in London after her performance in The Misanthrope (12/29)

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Anna Friel leaving the Theatre Royal in London (12/23)

You may remember Anna from her work with Will Ferrell in the movie Land of the Lost . . . LOL! Totally kidding of course. More people have seen Elvis in the past six months than that piece of shit movie. In conclusion, Anna Friel = Awesome.

NOTE: To see the uncensored semi-NSFW pics of Anna Friel, click any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

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Catherine Zeta-Jones at the after party for the opening night of the Broadway musical A Little Night Music in New York (12/13)

Especially fun to those audience members sitting on the left side of the orchestra at her new play A Little Night Music. Yes I mean nudity. From the New York Post:
Catherine Zeta-Jones gave well-placed fans at her Broadway show, "A Little Night Music," a little something to remember by inadvertently flashing onstage. Zeta-Jones stars with Angela Lansbury in the revival. In one scene, her character is reunited with her long lost lover and opens her kimono to show him what he's been missing. But audience members on the left side of the orchestra the other day also got a spectacular view. One told us, "I couldn't believe it. No wonder Michael Douglas looks so happy. The couple sitting next to me also saw it and poked each other." Expect a rush for left-orchestra seats.
Knowing that she's been sleeping with the corpse of Michael Douglas for more than a decade means that the only thing I'd have wanted to see less at that play than Catherine Zeta-Jones' nether regions would have been Angela Lansbury's. Besides, if people want to see a naked celebrity, they don't need to pay hundreds of dollars to attend a Broadway show -- they can just buy Mathew McConaughey a new set of bongos.

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"Say YES to cockblocking!"

Jennifer Aniston isn't the only one sabotaging Jennifer Aniston's relationships with men. Her friends help too. From the National Enquirer:
"Friends" co-stars Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Love were spotted waiting in the lobby of the Sunset Tower Hotel on Dec. 3 when a good-looking guy walked up to Jen and complimented her on her dress. Jen graciously thanked him and things looked like they had a chance to move forward. But super-protective Courteney pulled her away! (Print Edition - 12/28)
As if meeting guys wasn't hard enough for Jen, now she has to worry about her friends getting in the way of a love connection? At this point she should probably just give up and do what most women her age do when they can't find a man: become a nun get a cat or five. Besides, what does Courteney know about men? Her brother-in-law doesn't want to be one and her husband still hasn't hit puberty.

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Ellen Pompeo out and about inWest Hollywood (12/23)

+ Candice Swanepoel looks ridiculous in a bikini [Hollywood Tuna]

+ Wonder how much Kourtney got for these pics [The Superficial]
+ Miranda Kerr dons a bikini and does Ralph [IDLYITW
+ After death threat, Brooke Mueller parties with Paris Hilton [Wonderwall]
+ Sneaky hot Pixie Lott in some gay biker shorts [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Michael Lohan denies kicking that vagina [OK! Magazine]
+ Sexual favor FAIL [College Humor]
+ Megan Fox inner side boob [Popoholic]
+ You knew Denise Richards would weasel her way into this [A Socialite's Life]

+ Rosie's dating a biker chick! [Dlisted]
+ Blue flowers (and boobs) are my favorite! [Double Viking]
+ OK, this might be the coolest hair I have ever seen [Busted Coverage]
+ The five funniest supporting role guys in movies today [Attuworld]

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Lisa Cazzulimi

Italian model Lisa Cazzulimi

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Mary J. Blige and her husband Kendu Isaacs out and about in New York (12/8)

Charlie Sheen, Michael Lohan, and now Mary J. Blige. I guess it's domestic violence day here on Celebslam. Anyways, though she's denying it, Mary J. Blige punched her husband Kendu Isaacs in the face at a club last Tuesday (video of the incident on PAGE 2). From the New York Post:
Mary J. Blige punched husband Kendu Isaacs in the face at her record release party at club M2 Tuesday night. The singer slugged Isaacs, drawing blood, after she thought he was flirting with a waitress. "She turned to him and was screaming, 'You're not going to ruin my night,' " our witness says. "They got up in each other's faces before someone tried to separate them, at which point she shoved the guy aside, pulled back and popped [Isaacs] in the face."

The source said Blige, Isaacs and their entourage were whisked through a door to the attached club Pink, which was closed. Our witness relates, "She was yelling at him, 'What are you gonna do, Chris Brown me?' Four of her bodyguards and two of the club's kept them apart." Isaacs was kicked out. Blige went to the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup, but soon fled, creating an uncomfortable scene for partygoers Jay-Z, Beyoncé and Busta Rhymes.
Jesus, are there any famous couples who weren't involved in some sort of domestic altercation this year? Hollywood's turning into the WWE. The only thing that's missing is the title belts. Wait, why don't we have belts? Like, how cool would it have been if Chris Brown was wearing his "Intercontinental Domestic Violence Champion" title belt around Hollywood after he beat up Rihanna. And then Michael Lohan dramatically takes the belt from him after spitting in his girlfriend's face and kicking her in the vagina. That shit would be awesome.

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Sharon Stone leaving a doctor's office in Beverly Hills (12/20)

+ Lindsay Lohan's boobs will hypnotize you [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Who took the sex out of the sex tapes? [PopEater]
+ Lady Gaga nip slip (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Taylor and Taylor are no more. What a tragedy. [DailyFill]
+ Celebrities that might die in 2010. Morbid. [Holy Taco]

+ Don't call Joe Francis a rapist [A Socialite's Life]
+ Diora Baird needs to have more pictures taken of her [Newstoob]
+ Fake boobies! [Double Viking]
+ So maybe Jon Gosselin didn't fake that burglary [I'm Not Obsessed]

LIST OF THE DAY: The 22 Most Hilarious Tombstone Names

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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: