December 2009 NUDE!

Top 10 Hollywood Sex Scandals of 2009

Cutting things short today for the New Year. Here's a bountiful Top 10 list to hold you over until Monday (click through the gallery for comments under each picture). Stay safe out there tonight kids, and remember, just because a chick happens to be a Victoria's Secret Angel doesn't mean she can't give you herpes. YOU BITCH!

Russell Brand and Katy Perry sledding in London (12/23)

This probably isn't true but Katy Perry is maybe possibly engaged to Russell Brand. And you can take that to the bank! From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Brand, who began dating Perry in September, sparked rumors he would settle down with the singer after he was photographed shopping for a diamond ring at a Cartier jewelry store earlier this month. According to Britain's Daily Mirror, the "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" star proposed during Perry's trip to his native Britain last week.

A source says, "He asked her to marry him last week and she quickly said yes. They don't know when the wedding will be but they are planning to make it in 2010 if the schedules can work. Russell is searching for a jewelry designer to create a ring in time for the New Year."

Girls like Katy shouldn't settle down so young, they've got too much going for them -- they're rich famous built like a brick shit house. Chicks with her "talents" have more options than a 2010 Hyundai Elantra (NOW A SPONSOR OF CELEBSLAM!). Besides, Russell should stick with women that are more suited for his style: like toothless shopping cart ladies or Mary Magdalene.

Kim Kardashian hosting the Pre-New Year's Eve Party at Eve nightclub in Las Vegas (12/30)

For those of you keeping score at home, this is Kim Kardashian's 847th sexually suggestive photo of the year. Coming up on Monday: Kim goes shopping for bananas!

Sofia Vergara at the K17 Beach Club in Miami (12/30)

Mmmmmm, Colombian models with huge fake boobies -- oops I mean, Mmmmm, chocolate covered strawberries.

Arianny Celeste

Model/Ring Girl Arianny Celeste at the 2009 Mixed Martial Arts Awards at The Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas (12/30)

Larry King leaving a medical building in Beverly Hills (12/10)

Roughly a year ago the National Enquirer accused Larry King's wife Shawn of getting a little on the side. I know, I can't believe she cheated on that either. Well it turns out Larry may be getting in on that action, too. With his wife's sister Shannon! A close friend of Shawn's told the National Enquirer:

"To help her sister out, Shawn sold Shannon her Mercedes-Benz at a huge discount. Just weeks later, Shawn saw Shannon driving a $160,000 car. When Shawn confronted her, Shannon said she’d traded in Shawn’s Mercedes and bought the new car with money she’d earned from voice-over work for a movie. When Shawn asked which movie it was, Shannon claimed she couldn’t remember."

A suspicious Shawn eventually learned her husband… actually bought the car for Shannon, said her close friend.

"Shawn said she also discovered that Larry had spent $1.5 million to put up Shannon at the swank Beverly Hills Hotel for 18 months," divulged the friend - who passed a polygraph test. "Shawn was furious! She said that she wouldn’t have felt so crazy if she’d caught Larry fooling around with a stranger. The fact that he’s cheating with her sister has made it so much worse."

In Larry's defense, you know that scene from Scarface where Tony Montana has that huge pile of cocaine on his desk? Larry has that too, but it's crushed up Viagra. Where the hell else is he supposed to put his penis?

The year in Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

If you have an hour, here's a recap of every disturbing Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! pic that appeared on Celebslam in 2009, all 154 of them. Click through the gallery for a description under each picture. But be careful, 2009 was a very ugly year.

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter leaving Whole Foods in L.A. (12/28)

+ Brooke Hogan is still wearing bikinis [The Superficial]

+ NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [PopEater]
+ Coco's ass is out of control [IDLYITW]
+ Fat man jumps into frozen lake. Hilarity ensues. [College Humor]
+ Christina Aguilera is a shell of her former hot self [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Jennifer Aniston fucked over the paparazzi [Wonderwall]
+ Sophie Howard is . . . holy crap [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Tyra Banks screwed over he employees [Dlisted]
+ Leighton Meester looking cute at some party in Miami [moejackson]

+ Charlie Sheen's wife has a checkered past [The Blemish]
+ The dumbest trends of 2009 [CityRag]
+ Redheads do have more fun [Double Viking]
+ Gemma Atkinson gets dirty with Ralph [Derek Hail]

Christina Aguilera out and about in L.A. (12/23)

+ Jaime Pressly is still worth a bone [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Butts or boobs? [CityRag]
+ A little butt crack for the ladies [Just Jared]
+ A little butt crack for the fellas [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ 24 actress hospitalized after carjacking. Holy shit. [PopEater]

+ Miranda Kerr unleashes the bikini hotness [Popoholic]
+ Russian model Anne V rocking the bikini in Miami Beach [moejackson]
+ Miley Cyrus is very suggestive [Litely Salted]
+ Angelina Jolie drops a cheating bombshell on Brad Pitt [Cele|bitchy]

LIST OF THE DAY: The 25 Best Memes of 2009

What a charmer

The New York Post really nailed it with this blind item they posted a few days ago (it's Lindsay). I have absolutely no idea (it's Lindsay) who this could possible be (it's Lindsay):

Which male model is regretting he got carried away with a certain starlet? He succumbed to her aggressive seduction, didn't use protection and now worries he may have contracted an STD

While the obvious culprit of this story is Lindsay Lohan, it's much more likely to be someone famous who you'd never suspect -- like Meryl Streep or Elizabeth II. Why? Because Meryl and Elizabeth have the one trait that's made all men want to have unprotected sex with women like them for centuries: fame money they've already been through menopause.