Simon Cowell is drunk

Simon Cowell leaving Wrotham Park Manor in London (10/2)

Why is Simon drunk? He's leaving his 50th birthday party celebration of course -- a party that cost him roughly $2 million to throw. From Radar:

The fete featured many of Simon's favorite delicacies such as Shepherds pie, fish and chips and mini roast beef and Yorkshire pudding hors d'oeuvres and the 400 person guest list included such celeb notables as "Idol" pals Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Olivia Newton-John, David Hasselhoff, Piers Morgan, Terri Seymour, Gordon Ramsay and Andrew Lloyd Weber.

Although Elton John, Paula Abdul (who called in sick) and "Britain's Got Talent" sensation Susan Boyle were no-shows, the rowdy party attendees were treated to performances by Leona Lewis, the aging boy band Westlife and the aforementioned Earth Wind & Fire, who had been flown in from Vegas at a cost of $200,000.

Wow, sounds almost exactly like my birthday party last year, well, except for Earth Wind & Fire. No way my broke-ass parents could get them. They could only afford Kelly Clarkson. Thank God she still accepts hot dogs as a form of payment . . .

[Flynet, WENN]

Lay

You can tell he's drunk...he's actually smiling!

Pat McGroin

Look at that guest list! Too bad somebody didn't send a missile into that gathering.

Caden Canyon ***** Twitter.com

Too bad he's a smoker. His jizz would taste nasty. Even w/ his long British foreskin going down to his knees, it's not worth it.