Lauren Conrad leaving MI6 nightclub in West Hollywood (9/29)

If my head wasn't already horribly horribly bruised from that Kardashian story I posted yesterday, I would totally beat it against my keyboard right now. From Variety:

Temple Hill Entertainment has acquired screen rights to "L.A. Candy," the bestselling debut novel by Lauren Conrad, ex-star of reality series "The Hills" and "Laguna Beach."

Temple Hill partners Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey ("Twilight") will produce. Conrad will be exec producer through her Blue Eyed Girl Prods. banner. The book, published in June by HarperCollins, has been on the bestseller lists of the New York Times for 14 weeks.

Informed by Conrad's experiences, "L.A. Candy" tells the story of a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality series star and then has to deal with the ramifications of living a fishbowl life. Conrad plans to write two more books on the reality travails of protag Jane Roberts.

"Lauren, who became an icon in that reality show world, came to us with a structure of how to tell the story in an interesting fashion that was separate and apart from the book," Bowen said. "We loved her take. Her book is an honest portrayal of what it must be like to set out to be normal, then sign on to become famous and eventually realize, wow, this isn't at all what I'd planned for myself."

Bowen said they will set a writer before looking for a studio/financier for the project, which was sold by UTA. Conrad will be involved in shaping the direction of the script.

The most depressing part about this story is that when Lauren's movie is finally released, it will probably be one of the biggest blockbusters of the year. Why? Because teenage girls will watch anything -- just ask the producers of Twilight. And for those aspiring writers out there with actual talent (who are forced to toil daily by writing about worthless pieces of human excrement like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan on celebrity blogs), after reading this article I only have one piece of advice for you: kill yourselves. Wait, that's me. Aw dammit.

[Pacific Coast News]