Tila Tequila Mercedes Benz Polo held at Bridgehampton (7/18)

Tila Tequila's boyfriend, NFL player Shawne Merriman, was arrested early Sunday morning after the -- wait, why is she famous again? -- accused him of choking her when she tried to leave his house in suburban San Diego. From CNN:

Nguyen signed a citizen's arrest at the scene, and Merriman was taken into custody on suspicion of battery and false imprisonment, according to the statement. Deputies didn't see any physical injuries on Nguyen, but she asked to be transported to a local hospital, sheriff's spokeswoman Jan Caldwell said. Nguyen's condition was not immediately known.

"Didn't see any physical injuries on Nguyen..." Tila Tequila is 4'11", 93 pounds. Shawne Merriman is 6'4", 265 pounds. Strange that he choked her, yet didn't leave a bruise or mark. Sean must be practicing that new martial art YOU LYING FUCKING WHORE-jitsu. Late Sunday night, Shawne released a statement:

On September 6, 2009 the San Diego Sheriffs Department responded to a citizens complaint that was initiated by Tila Nguyen (aka Tila Tequila). I was taken into custody based upon that complaint.

At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided. We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety.

I in no way caused any harm to Ms Nguyen, however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. She was released and has since returned to Los Angeles, California.

There have been no charges filed against me.

I want to thank the San Diego Sheriffs Department for their professionalism. I will continue to cooperate fully with the Department and I look forward to clearing my name regarding these false allegations.

I want to put this behind me so I can continue to focus on a successful season for the San Diego Chargers.

Naturally, Tila took to Twitter to mount her defense (the first time in her life she was the one doing the mounting):



Oh hey, guess who's lying again. HINT: She looks like a retarded alien from a planet full of other retarded aliens with big implants and even bigger foreheads. Yep, Tila! Turns out she's actually quite the prolific drinker. Check out the picture she posted hours before she was "choked" by Merriman:



She also did a little drunk twittering over the weekend while in San Diego (the tweets have since been deleted and her account has been made private but you can check them out here; you can run, you troll bitch, but you can't hide!):



The owner of the club where Tila and Shawne partied on Saturday night told the AP she was "visibly intoxicated." Merriman's attorney also claims there were more than a dozen people at Merriman's house at the time of the incident and "witness after witness after witness will back up his story 100 percent." Hmmmmm, it seems like there's a conclusion to be drawn here about someone lying but I'm having some trouble connecting the dots . . .

For lying about being choked and setting the troll rights movement back 20 years, I sentence Tila to 6 months of dating Chris Brown.