Madonna's Israel trip very low key

Madonna performing live at Hayarkon Park in Tel Aviv, Israel (9/1)

I'm kidding of course. I think it's quite possible that Madonna packs more items into her suitcases when she travels than I own at all. From the New York Post:

Madonna traveled light to Israel. Just took 11 suites plus 25 rooms plus her own Royal Suite plus her own Italian chef plus her own exercise equipment, which came in on a private plane, plus her five children. The fifth being that nice underemployed Brazilian young boy Jesus she schleps around. Unclear exactly what line of work he's out of, but it's definitely clear what kind of work he's into.

Adjacent to her suite, the Dan Tel Aviv set up a private kitchen on the fifth floor where all her meals were served, including a traditional Shabat dinner presided over by the Kabbalah's Rabbi Berg. And for those daily pilates and stretches, the hotel also turned their King Solomon Ballroom -- often the site of bar mitzvahs and weddings -- into her personal gymnasium. Nobody carried on this way even when Sadat came for a visit.

She needed a separate plane to carry her exercise equipment? Wow, Madonna didn't just rape the environment, she gang-raped it with an old baseball bat and a rusty pole covered in AIDS. The fact that Madonna continues to work out so religiously is still a mystery though. She should realize by now that it's not her body that needs improving, it's her face.

NOTE: What the hell is going on with Madonna's crotch in this picture. I don't know man. I. Just. Don't. Know.

[WENN]

Andy Kaid

It's this model of "performance" that has delivered to us Britney Spears, a sub par no talent lip synching mess. Recipe: dumb it down for the masses, wear slutty clothes, lip synch, people like Whippet will flock to your show.

Jeezlouise

She really needs to go away- and take that skanky attention addicted whore Paris Hilton with her. They are both like guests at a party that just wont leave. Madonna is a shadow of her once fabulous self- who the hell is she now? a bony, pedophile wannabe- that wont stop cramming her crotch in our faces. Its horrible- that pose, is she that hard up for sex? She is a desperate joke.

PAZUZU

Bingo! She needs to stop cramming the grey pubes in everyones faces. "Everyone! Look! Look at my menopausal crotch!! Look at it!!",,,,Very, Very Gross. And being a guitar player I can't stand it when someone with long fingernails hangs one around their neck like a fashion accessory.

Acemeister79

Never, and I mean never, has a person got so rich and famous with less talent (with the one exception of self-promotion). Give it a rest - she doesn't sing on stage, it's mostly lip-synch (and the screeching tortured hamster voice has always been overrated). Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer sounded better than Madonnna when he was whimpering "Holiday"... Bring on someone who has some musical talent and doesn't dress like a victorian crack ho.

IB

Whippet, we expect her to act like she isn't a delusional 51 year old believing she is 18. That's all. When you feel the exact same when watching the newest Madonna video as you do when rescuing old uncle Arnie naked from the town square with his grandma's underwear on his head, then there is something seriously wrong.

Whippet

C'mon, that is a bit of a harsh exaggeration.

She is a dancer - her live concerts are very entertaining - it is a massive show they work and plan for months. Her music is happy, poppy music...so now, again - how do you see such a performance-show happening? Must she be dressed in a female business suit? Think about the medium and logistics. Do you think it can work any other way?

If you ever have seen her live, you WILL change your mind. She is dynamite.

Nameless

At 25, her singing poses were sexy. At 51, she looks like she's doing a Jim Carrey Ace Ventura impression.

I bet her guitar isn't even plugged in during concerts.

OMAdonna

She's a disgusting old battle axe singing kiddie bubblegum music

PAZUZU

When grandma's dementia kicked into high gear it was nearly impossible to keep her out of my daughter's underwear drawer. Hey Whippet, I can't argue her amazing career but the sexy ship has sailed. Same with Mick Jagger. The "me so sexy" thing is gross at her age and her denial of that makes her appear pathetic and silly.

Whippet

Ok.

So what do you want her to do?

Whippet

...and by your comment it seems you are not a youngster (like myself), do you really, really not find her attractive? Honestly, for a 50-year old?

PAZUZU

Even an attractive 50 year old is made ugly when dressed like a crack addicted street walker. As to what should she do? Well, it would seem to me that if she is really making great music then performing it not dressed like a broken down old hooker would only help her career.

Whippet

So?

She can afford it. She is successful, hardworking and obviously in demand. She's had a stellar career spanning THREE decades.

She looks great for her age.

She makes popular music that is loved, danced to, and bought by anybody except by goatee-wearing or the most gothy fringe indie souls.

I always like asking this question: what do you expect her to do? Make Shirley Bassey music? Retire? Give up? Become fat? Make fringe-indie music? What should she do for you to say....respekt?

PS: Aw, Jeeezuz, 'Slam, what the fuuuuuck is that bit about the environment? You're better than that.