Ellen's the new Paula

You'll never guess who the top is

Fox has found their replacement for Paula Abdul. Ellen Degeneres. Wait, what? From the AP:

Fox announced Wednesday the talk show host and comedian, who admittedly has no formal music experience, just a passion for tunes, will join Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi for the ninth season. The announcement all but seals the departure of Paula Abdul, the original third judge who announced she was quitting amid a contract dispute in July.

Wednesday's announcement came as a shock to many of the singing competition's fans, who did not expect the Emmy-winning talk show host to fill Abdul's spot. DeGeneres told her talk show audience in an episode scheduled to air Thursday that she had been "dying to tell everyone" and would not abandon her chatfest. Instead, she will have "a day job and a night job."

"The times we're living in," she quipped, "we're all doing that."

Uh oh, I bet things get pretty awkward now on the American Idol set. How are Kara and Randy supposed to work with Ellen staring at their tits? I give her half a season, tops.

[WENN]

The Federal Reserve Bank Offic

What does it matter if you make money on a show plagiarized by wiretapping Pelicano and his Masonic Bolshevik Hollywood Cabal?

It's still money, right?

It still buys you sex, right?

Anonymous

Who's that guy with Portia DeRossi?

moo

I am really TIRED of these two twats...... love Ellen, but ENOUGHT ALREADY!!!

Gianna

I'm sure she's really hurting for cash with "The times we're living in,".

Maybe she'll dress up like charlie chaplin during her first night on the job.

Greg

They made the worst choice they could make... Studio Execs show not do hiring for a show.

8 inches

I'd love to penis Portia.

Whoopi Goldberg

Portia (seriously, couldn't her parents be bothered to break out a dictionary at some point during the 9 month pregnancy) likes tacos. She doesn't like hot dogs. Going by this photo, it appears she prefers old, moldy tacos that look like hot dog buns.

Slone

I thought you meant she was the new Paula Poundstone with that outfit.

Scooby

An unwatchable show becomes even more unwatchable.