"Jazz hands!"

Simon Cowell is about to get paid . . . 100 million times over. He's getting at least that much to appear on the next season of American Idol. That's in dollars by the way, not pesos. 100 million dollars. In related news, I was legitimately excited today when I found a quarter on the ground at the laundromat. From the New York Post:

Cowell, who reportedly made $36 million last year for judging the hit competition show, has been offered three or four times that amount -- between $100 million and $144 million per year -- by co-producers Fox and 19 Entertainment to stick with "Idol" when his contract expires next May, according to The Guardian, a London newpaper.

Fox declined yesterday to comment about the salary negotiations. While $36 million may seem like a lot of money for five months worth of snarky comments and eye-rolls, it's only a fraction of the estimated $900 million that "Idol" rakes in a year.

If American Idol actually does make $900 million a year, then $100 million to keep Simon is quite a bargain. Why else do people watch that show? For Paula? Randy? That new chick? No, viewers tune in to see dreamers like William Hung make fools out of themselves and to hear Simon rip that dream right out of their assholes. Now, if FOX were smart, they'd up his salary by one more million . . . with the understanding that he wear shirts that fit.

[Flynet]