The last thing this paparazzo ever saw

This month's "Amy Winehouse almost died" story comes to us courtesy of the London Evening Standard. Amy's junkie ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil told the paper that he had to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation a few years back after she quit breathing during a crack and heroine binge:

"She started having a fit on the bed. She slid down on to the floor before I could stop her. She started quivering again and it suddenly grew into what seemed like a full-blown epileptic fit. I didn't know how to help her. I was out of it on drugs as well. But then suddenly she passed out and stopped breathing. Somehow I managed to open her mouth and breathe air down her throat. At first nothing happened. So I did it again. Then she spluttered and I saw her chest rise."

And the best line of the story:

She begged him for more drugs while slipping in and out of a coma, but a friend called a cab which rushed her to hospital where she eventually recovered.

So a trained cardiologist that was right by his side couldn't revive a living legend like Michael Jackson, but a tripped-out crackhead was able to save the life of a washed-up cokewhore like Amy Winehouse? Life just isn't fair. Need further proof? Gravity. By the time I retire, my balls will probably be hanging lower than my knees. Even worse. My future wife will probably be able to say the same thing about her tits. Fuck you Isaac Newton.
[Flynet]