Oh shut the f*ck up

Gwyneth Paltrow at a screening of Two Lovers in New York (2/11)

It's weird that Gwyneth Paltrow comes off as a pretentious fucking snob to almost everyone that meets her. I think it has something to do with the fact that she's a pretentious fucking snob. From her latest GOOP "lifestyle" newsletter:

"The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries - heaven."

The 'William' she's referring to is of course Billy Joel. Besides his grandma, who the fuck calls Billy Joel 'William'? Why can't this bitch just talk like a normal human being? I hate to break this to you Gwyneth, but you're not important. Your shit stinks just as bad as mine. And I bet your boogers are just as chewy as mine, too.

UPDATE: Now that I think about it, that last sentence was really embarrassing.

[Flynet, WENN]

cowbulls

I can't stand this bitch. I hope she never leaves Europe. If she didn't whore herself out, no one would have ever heard of her.

Gwyneth's Alter Eggo Waffle

Don't be so mean to Gwynnie. She's just not smart enough to know any better, which is why she married a twelve year old Englishman.

loweralex

Also what is up with the leather diaper,she seems to wear alot of those knee britch/whatevers.

loweralex

Two Lovers has been online for months,it is a boorfest even with Goop Paltrow baring her breast(not even plot driven).When she starts taking out her breast(seems desperate)and still not creating any buzz,age and her anti-american ways have caught up with her!!

JD

You are so right. She is a self-centered no-talent snob. Typical Hollyweird type who thinks the world revolves around them.

Brooke

She cracks me up. She's a pretty mediocre talent, her website is a joke, and she probably wrote that blog entry without cracking a smile once.

Goop. Apple. William Joel.

I think she has a name retardation of some sort.

amy

The more she speaks/types the less respect I have for her.

Sir William Douche of Baggia

What a delightful woman, this Ms. Paltrow.

It makes one wonder, in the corners of our mind, if she and Madonna relax in the library sipping herbal tea; eating crumpets and jam whilst they talk with the haughty diction of a monied third generation American royal.

Which is actually pretty funny since Madonna started out as a two bit whore on the streets of NY and Gwenny grew up nouveau riche via the Hollywood train thanks to daddy and mummy.

PAZUZU

Too funny, Thanks.

You can't be serious?

Gwyneth, YOU MEMORIZE LINES FOR A LIVING, YOU SELF-IMPORTANT, AGING HAG. SNAP OUT OF IT YOU FUCKING TWAT.

...ah, I feel better now.

(as I place my monocle back into my eye and adjust my tophat)

Cheerio lads!

amen.

chris martin is a tool.

but not as much as obnoxious, pretentious wife.

Gigi

I loathe this ugly pretentious bitch. IF she's so damn wonderful why in the hell couldn't she find someone other than fugly Chris Martin with his big ole grody teeth?

Dan

Gwyneth Paltrow is such a cunt bag.

Random Bob

How can one be so full of shit ?

pollypissypants

hilarious. thanks you made my afternoon.

hummm

May someone answer a question for me ?

Why do actors/actresses think they are better people than any other human being on the planet ?¿

Entertainment personalities, such as the aforementioned actors/actresses and sports figures are overpaid for what they give back to society, in my humble opinion.

NTV/NAT Group, Ltd.

Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop!

Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop! Goop!

*Still* bitter that Brad dumped your frigid ass for Jennifer, eh?