Top 10 Hollywood Odd Couples

by Dan the Celebman

Chances are that three of these couples will have broken up before you finish reading this article. Four of them will then date other people on the list, before marrying a country singer or athlete. And finally, two others will decide they're gay and date Courtney Love. They sell lead-lined condoms, right?

NOTE: Make sure you click through the gallery for individual comments under each picture.

  • Thumbnail: 10. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. Why is this couple odd\? Well Tony Parker\, 6' 2"\, 180lbs\, tough\, powerful\, commanding. But we all know who wears the pants in that relationship. Not that a woman in charge is a bad thing\, but it is when she makes him watch all 6 seasons of "Sex and the City" before a game.
  • Thumbnail: 9. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi. Odd because they're lesbians\? No. Odd because Ellen is the female equivalent of the guy that used to play George on Seinfeld \(Jason Alexander\) scoring with Johnny Depp\, if they were both gay. Ellen is proof that hot chicks dig comedy and a few million dollars in the bank account.
  • Thumbnail: 8. Adriana Lima and Marko Luckybastardic. NBA basketball players certainly know how to score. First the LA Lakers and Madonna\, now Adriana and Marko. So why is this odd\? Well\, just look at the guy. The only thing they have in common is that they both speak English as a second language - but let's face it\, with Adriana\, you only need to learn two words\, "whipped" and "cream."
  • Thumbnail: 7. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. OK\, so many people will probably disagree and say they look like such a lovely couple\, but I just imagine them at home with Jenny making fart jokes while Jim puts his head in the oven again. Depression and toilet humor just don't mix. But at least she's still hot.
  • Thumbnail: 6. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. I personally think Nick Cannon is very brave and Mariah is still admittedly hot - but she is madder than a cast-adrift lifeboat full of starving monkeys who just ate their last banana and then discovered that monkey meat tastes a bit like chicken. And banana.
  • Thumbnail: 5. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Surprised\? The most beautiful couple in the world \(after Ashlee and Pete that is\) considered odd\? Well no\, not really. Just Angelina. But she has enough odd in her to make up for Brad\, who outside of films seems to leave most of his personality locked away in a little crystal jar Angelina hangs around her neck. With his blood...and his nuts. She's hot in a scary "don't make me lick the red-hot branding iron again please Mistress Angelina" kind of way.
  • Thumbnail: 4. Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron. All that make-up\, hair curlers\, beauty products\, high-heel shoes\, false eyelashes\, Pink CDs\, fur coats\, lingerie - talk about high maintenance\! I don't know why Vanessa puts up with it. She deserves so much better.
  • Thumbnail: 3. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. They'll love this won't they\? Being classified as an odd-couple. I feel so unclean including them in this list. I knew I should have gone with Demi and Ashton, or as I like to call them, Black Widow and Lunch. So why are the Wentzs odd\? Because they have to be. Otherwise fame will forget them if it's all about talent.
  • Thumbnail: 2. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman. You never know what you're getting with Christina. She can either look incredibly hot or like the dirtiest crack whore walking Hollywood Blvd. With Jordan however\, you definitely know what you're getting\: a face only a drunk mother could love. Drunk mother . . . wow, that brings back some memories . . . \*sobs\*
  • Thumbnail: 1. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Or as the press call them\, TomKat\, which is appropriate\, because if you whip a tomcat in the nuts with a wet towel they get about as mad as a Scientologist who just got told that L. Ron Hubbard wrote "Battlefield Earth" as a joke. I still like watching Cruise in films\, but that might be due to the microchip I had implanted in my head. But poor ol' Kate looks like she had the life\(force\) sucked right out of her.
[WENN]
May 08, 2009
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  • KLAAVIR

    ANYBODY THAT CAN'T SEE THAT NICK CANNON AND MARIAH CAREY'S MARRIAGE IS FAKE IS A DAMN FOOL!SHE'S NEVER BEEN WITH A BLACK GUY-EVER!-NOT EVEN IN HER VIDEOS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE'S WITH NICK!GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!THE BLACK COMMUNITY HAS ALWAYS THOUGHT OF MARIAH AS A BOOTLEG WHITNEY HOUSTON WANNABE SO I GUESS SHE FELT IT WOULD HELP HER STANDING IF SHE MARRIED HIM!EPIC FAIL!!!AND SHAME ON NICK FOR HELPING HER WITH THIS SHAM!THEY BOTH MAKE ME SICK!!!!

  • yo momma

    geesh talk about inbreeding...

    great example of recessive chin gene due to excessive "family" relations...

  • Another Sarah

    Thank you!THANK YOU!!!

    So I ain't the only person in the world who didn't forget about all the strange stuff this woman did!!!It's like most people are brainwashed or something,

    "What,Angelina Jolie?I wanna be like her,she's a saint,she's a rolemodel!"

    "What about the crazy stuff she did?Wearing BBT's blood around her neck,and the public making out with her brother?Don't you remember that?"

    "What?Sorry,did you say something?I didn't hear it,but isn't she great?"

  • www.blahgirls.com

    Uh wait, Brad and Angie is odd? How are the two most beautiful humans alive ODD?

  • Sheila

    Tom is totally gay, he needs to come out of the closet. She is probably getting paid millions of dollars to pretend to be his wife

  • Winkie Dinkie Dog

    Zac Efron=Leather Bar.

  • Justina Hagelara

    "Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman are pictured exiting the police station after reporting the theft of Jordan's chin by an unknown assailant."

  • Wendel

    What the heck is happening to Portia de Rossi?

    She is beginning to look like Donatella Versace!

    http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/...

    Boy, I thought being a lesbian would be better on you aging, not worse.

    Live and learn.

  • Whippet

    Do you think she is really, really gay? You know, she is too good looking to be gay.

    Why is it that gay guys are normally good looking and gay chicks are normally fucking ugly? Noticed that?

  • Rosie O'Donnell

    I am offended by your remark that gay women are ugly. One only needs to look at me to see that you are wrong. I am a shining example that lesbians may be gorgeous!

  • Anonymous

    LOL

  • Morgan Fratman

    Jordan,

    Two words - chin implant.

  • Anonymous

    Jordan Bratman is a chinless wonder.

  • Whippet

    Have you forgotten Salma Hayek and François-Henri Pinault?

    I guess Top 10 Eleven Hollywood Odd Couples doesn't quite work that well as a headline.

  • Todd

    Didn't Christian publicly state that Jordan Bratman has a giant wiener? Looks, personality, wealth, power and fame all play a back seat to big meat.

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