May 2009 NUDE!

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise at a dance studio in Pacific Palisades (5/28)

+ Christina Aguilera still has enormous breasts [The Superficial]

+ Katie Price skanks up a fashion show [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Emily Scott is Australia's Sexiest Woman [Egotastic!]
+ Flying dogs is the coolest thing you'll see all day [Holy Taco]
+ The best thing about summer: bikini asses [College Humor]

+ Megan Fox is sorta see through [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Alessandra Ambrosio in a very short dress = hot [Bastardly]
+ Elisha Cuthbert gets topless for Men's Health [Popoholic]
+ A little something for the ladies [I'm Not Obsessed]

+ Rachel Weisz loves to get nude [CityRag]
+ Susan Boyle comes in 2nd on Britain's Got Talent [A Socialite's Life]
+ Taylor Swift is sparkly [Yeeeah!]
+ Even in painted form, Madonna naked is gross [popbytes]

Jenna Pietersen

South African model Jenna Pietersen

Tech wenches in action!

I know there's been some issues lately with Celebslam and Internet Explorer (freezing pages, error messages, etc.). Rest assured, my oversexed tech wenches are on it and it should be fixed shortly. Shoot me an email (celebslam@gmail.com) if you keep noticing a problem.

Reese Witherspoon leaving a gym in Brentwood (5/27)

+ Playboy is desperate [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Jennifer Morrison is Sexeh [Egotastic!]
+ Wanda Sykes' twins look like babies [Just Jared]
+ Kristin Cavallari downblouse pic [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Lisa Rinna is a loser [The Blemish]

+ Kelly Hu is gorgeous [Holy Taco]
+ Girls with silicone faces [Attuworld]
+ Noooooooooooooooooo! [F-Listed]
+ Finally Sofia Vergara is getting some exposure [Lossip]
+ Angelina Jolie taken to hospital after on-set injury [Cele|bitchy]

Linda Hogan is fucking crazy

The Hogan Family feud just got stepped up a notch. And Brooke Hogan better watch the fuck out. Because if she doesn't shut up and stop lying every time she opens her mouth, she'll be facing the lyrical bullets of her mom's boyfriend Charley Hill. From OK!:

The Hogan family has been going back and forth lately, with Brooke Hogan laying accusations of drug use at her mother Linda Hogan's door. Linda then responded by saying her daughter had breast implants, among other things: "[If] Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father's lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, [Linda's new boyfriend] will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called 'Redemption' which will easily surpass any of Brooke's records sales."

I've heard a lot of crazy shit in my day but threatening to turn your boyfriend into a pop star has to be near the top. I just hope Brooke doesn't take this threat too lightly. Just imagine if Charley suddenly had an album for sale on iTunes. She might literally die.

Simon Cowell has a nice house

Simon Cowell's new home in Beverly Hills

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

Phil Spector sentenced to 19 years in prison

Phil Spector was sentenced to 19 years to life today for the murder of actress Lana Clarkson. The sentence finally ends the six-year legal ordeal which began with the music producer's arrest in 2003 and featured a mistrial along the way. When asked to comment on the sentence, Spector's new cell mate -- an imposing black dude with an impossibly huge cock -- started smiling.

NOTE: Spector is being given credit for 47 days time served, which gives him 18 years, 318 days, to plan his Memorial Day 2028 party. Can't wait!

Kate Hudson bikini pics!

Kate Hudson in Maui (Sept. 2006)

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline in Beverly Hills in 2005

In an interview with Hello! magazine, Jamie Lynn Spears claims her sister Britney and ex-husband Kevin Federline have become best friends. Wait a minute . . . somebody actually interviewed Jamie Lynn Spears!? WTF? From Hello!:

"Kevin has been great, as always. He and Britney have become best friends. She knows how much he cares about the boys and he knows the same is true of her."

A second source added, "Kev also gets on great with mom and dad, so it’s one big happy family pulling together. Everyone just wants to make sure that this tour is successful for Britney and that she gets the comeback she deserves."

Of course K-Fed wants Britney's tour to be "successful" -- he has a (in)vested interest. Even K-Fed understands that if he severed ties with Britney every time she had a mental breakdown or gained a few pounds the results would be catastrophic for the well-being of his children bank account. The bottom line is that if Britney wants to continue to have "one big happy family," there's only one thing she needs to avoid: bankruptcy.

Shia LaBeouf is in deep shit

Shia LaBeouf may have been involved in a minor accident Wednesday afternoon in Los Feliz -- which is weird because his license is still suspended from that accident he got into last year. From Celebuzz:

LaBeouf was maneuvering his heavy black truck when he bumped the rear section of comedian Jesse Coccoli's Nissan while merging near the intersection of Los Feliz Blvd. and Hillhurst Ave., she told Celebuzz in a telephone interview. Coccoli recounted the incident live in her Twitter feed and provided more details in an email exchange with Celebuzz.

Representatives for the star, however, disputed her account, insisting that LaBeouf was not even in the neighborhood, much less at the wheel or involved in an accident.

"This story is completely fabricated," a spokeswoman for LaBeouf told Celebuzz last night. "Shia was in Santa Monica with friends for the afternoon in question. This must be a clear case of mistaken identity."

Coccoli said she stood by her story. In recounting the incident to Celebuzz, she said she did not recognize the star initially. "I think I said, 'I can't believe you just hit my car going two miles an hour,' and realize, it is him," she said.

Sounds like a case of mistaken identity to me. I get that all the time, too. "Aren't you 2004 'World's Strongest Man' Vasyl Virastyuk?" I can't even go out in public anymore because of all the autograph seekers. It's almost enough to make a guy regret that he has 24" biceps. Almost.