Amy Winehouse leaving the Hard Rock Cafe in London (3/31)

Can we stop using the phrase "shocked" when referring to Amy Winehouse's antics, unless it's in the context of "everyone was shocked Amy was speaking so eloquently" or "everyone was shocked Amy didn't pass out in a pile of her own vomit and urine." From the Daily Mail:

Amy Winehouse has stunned holidaymakers by allegedly streaking half-naked through her Caribbean hotel. The singer, who returned to the island of St Lucia from her London home last week, reportedly whipped off her bikini top on the beach and ran through the family-friendly five-star resort. Open-mouthed guests said she was babbling nonsense to herself and waving her arms in the air as she tore around the pool area where children were playing. Amy was apparently protesting after officials told her she couldn't parade topless on the sand.

"Everyone was shocked," said an onlooker. "One minute Amy was relaxing with friends on the beach and the next she was running around half-naked.  She seems to like lounging around topless and might have had enough of being told what to do. She was talking to herself as she ran and flailing her arms around but we couldn't tell what she was saying - it didn't make a bit of sense."

The people vacationing at the Caribbean resort should consider themselves lucky that they only saw Amy running around topless. An old pirate story -- "The Legend of Swashbuckler's Cove" -- has it that Amy once paraded around a resort bottomless. There was just one survivor -- a blind whore who ironically went by the name "Chastity" -- that lived to tell the tale. True story. If Amy's ever going to get over her demons and move on with her life, she's going to have to relocate to a place where being stimulated is frowned upon and having a good time just doesn't happen. My suggestion: Utah A taping of Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

[Flynet]