March 2009 NUDE!

Shannan Click

American model Shannan Click

Jennifer Love Hewitt leaving her mother's home in L.A. (3/30)

+ Fergie has a toned stomach [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Gisele wants to adopt [Lossip]
+ Jennifer Ellison is So Hot It's Nuts [Egotastic!]
+ Aubrey O'Day is see-through (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Alyssa Milano is still hot [NewsToob]

+ Probably the hottest Hayden Panettiere has ever looked [Holy Taco]
+ MySpace tricks are for kids [Double Viking]
+ Megan Fox got her hair did [ICYDK]
+ Nic Cage has a busted weave [F-Listed]

Audrina Patridge out and about in Beverly Hills (2/23)

It was announced earlier this month that Audrina Patridge is leaving The Hills after the end of the current season to star in a reality series produced by Mark Burnett (of Survivor and The Apprentice fame). Perhaps diffusing what might be an awkward situation on "set," the producer of The Hills, Adam DiVello, is going out of his way to wish Audrina a fond farewell. Or not. From the New York Post:

A source tells Page Six that at a recent cast photo shoot for the MTV show, DiVello "completely lost his cool and was anything but professional" over star Audrina Patridge (above), who the day before had announced a development deal with "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett. As soon as Patridge left the shoot, says our source, "DiVello went on a tirade, cursing her in front of other cast and crew." (Source)

Adam's just jealous. He could've gotten his own deal with Mark Burnett if, like Audrina, he'd taken the necessary steps to advance his career. Of course, by "necessary steps," I mean get his chest enlarged, teeth laminated, and brain lobotomized. My advice to Adam: If you want to stop being outwitted by big-breasted imbeciles, start working at a strip club . . . or for her.
 

Lindsay's has friends in porn

Turns out that new Maserati Lindsay Lohan's been driving around (and her assistant's been fucking up) for the past few weeks isn't actually hers. It belongs to her friend, film producer Dennis DeSantis. Oh, did I say "film" producer? Because I meant "porn" producer. From TMZ:

The guy crazy enough to trust the exotic ride to a person with more traffic drama than Britney Spears is Dennis DeSantis -- a porn king who's produced such legendary classics as "Origami So Horny" and "Butt Sluts."

No word on why Dennis lent LiLo the car -- but we're told there's no XXX catch to drive the ride. And as for the damage Lindsay's assistant caused to the whip, we're told Double D isn't even sweating it and will let Linz drive the car after it's been repaired -- an estimated $10,000 job. (Source)

Wow, I thought Lindsay would at least do some soft-core, Skinemax-type stuff to pay the bills before doing porn. Guess I was wrong. BTW Lindsay, here's some suggestions for the name of your first film:

I Know Who DPed Me

Mean Girls Who Don't Swallow

Herbie Fully Loaded with Cum

Confessions of a Teenage Bukkake Queen

Kim Kardashian parking her new Ferrari on Bedford Drive in L.A. (3/27)

Life isn't fair. I have a college degree and I drove a moped to work today. I had to pedal it halfway because it ran out of gas. Kim Kardashian once videotaped herself blowing a guy and now she owns a Ferrari. The lesson here kids? Huge breast implants are the key to success in life. You really can't go too big.

Olga Kurylenko

Olga Kurylenko at the Jameson Empire Film Awards in London (3/29)

Britney Spears in Miami earlier this month

Remember Britney Spears' original plan to get out of her father Jamie's control by going on a hunger strike? Obviously it didn't work. 35 minute hunger strikes usually don't. So then plan number two was to set up her dad (a recovering alcoholic) in some kind of incriminating situation and then bring the evidence to court to show that he shouldn't be in charge of her career decisions and money. Obviously it didn't work. Plans drawn in crayon usually don't. Britney's latest scheme is to get ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib to knock her up (yes, the same guy who might be getting deported to Afghanistan). Because Jamie would have to leave her alone if she was pregnant! Right? Right? From the National Enquirer:

"Britney is still trying to set up a secret rendezvous with Adnan sometime on her tour so she can get pregnant," the insider said.

While she continues to scheme over Adnan, the 27-year-old singer - who's launched a comeback with her worldwide "Circus" tour - has repeatedly told her father that she is done with Ghalib and Lutfi, insiders say. But she's secretly contacted both men in recent months, begging them to help free her from her father's conservatorship, say sources. The bizarre letter was the latest salvo in her war against her father - and security guards handed it over to Jamie after discovering it during a search of Britney's personal effects, said the source. Such searches are done regularly in an effort to keep Britney's life under control, say insiders.

"In the letter, Britney told Adnan that having a baby would end her father's ban keeping them apart," said the insider. "She said her father would be forced to allow Adnan in her life since he'd be the father of her child."

The "Toxic" singer directed Ghalib to meet her at different tour stops so they could try to conceive a child, even though her ex-husband Kevin Federline and their two sons are traveling with her, said the source. (Source)

It sounds like the only person on Earth who's trying more desperately to get pregnant than Jennifer Aniston is Britney. Sadly, all of this baby drama is probably hardest on Adnan. Especially since every day that Britney isn't knocked up is another day he isn't living the life of busty strippers, fast cars, and easy money.* I guess the only way for Britney and Adnan to be together is elope to Afghanistan. Of course, there might be ONE tiny flaw to that plan. See here.

*aka "Monday-Saturday" for K-Fed. Sundays are for the Lord.

Sandra Bullock bikini pics!

Sandra Bullock in Las Vegas (Dec. 2007)

Khloe Kardashian at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas (3/28)

Remember the show Kim Kardashian put on with that lollipop at the airport in Miami a few weeks ago? Well her sister Khloe thought it'd be a good idea to copy her while in Vegas on Saturday. In other news, an Amber Alert has just been issued for the erection I had before I saw these pictures.

Bai Ling topless!

I don't know where these pics came from. They look like they may have been taken at one of those picture studios they have at the mall. I can't believe Bai didn't dress up in any of the old timey western gear. That's my favorite. I'm a gunslinger!

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.