Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan at the Charlotte Ronson Fashion Show in New York (2/13)

A first person account of the latest Samantha Ronson Lindsay Lohan clash, courtesy of the New York Post. Round 1 . . . Fight!

"Samantha Judith Ronson, why are you doing this to me?" cried Lindsay Lohan as she chased her lover down East First Street in the wee hours of Valentine's Day.

I had arrived towards the end of Charlotte Ronson's after party Friday night at the Eldridge, where the signature cocktail is made with real gold leaf and goes for $32 a glass. As I approached the velvet rope, a side door swung open and Samantha came rushing out, eyes cast downward, a scowl on her face. A moment later Lindsay emerged, clutching a pink purse. She took off after her DJ girlfriend, who at 31 is almost a decade older.

Jogging along as fast as her high heels would allow, Lindsay kept up a steady stream of pleas and wails. I followed just a few steps behind, recording in my reporter's notebook the dialogue of this scorned lover.

At one point Samantha stopped in the middle of Houston Street and said something in a whisper.

"What are you talking about?" shrieked Lindsay in response, "I've been with you all night!"

Samantha seemed to notice me standing there and took off once again, Lindsay following and only stopping to light a cigarette, which she puffed on furiously as she yelled.

I continued following behind, matching Lindsay's stride, and watching as two paparazzi darted in and out of traffic to get their shots. Other than the photogs and myself, no one out on the 1 a.m. street seemed to notice a starlet in their midst.

Lindsay stomped out her cigarette just before following her girlfriend into the Bowery Hotel, where they either made up or else continued the emotional meltdown in more private quarters. (Source)

Uh oh. Sounds like Lindsay didn't get what she wanted for Valentine's Day. I'm guessing she was hoping for the latest "Fist-O-Matic 3000" with oscillating thumb and 5 speed torque-vibration-stabilizing-injector but instead got last year's version. Too bad. If Sam really wants to keep her beau happy, she's going to have to learn the way to her heart . . . and in Lindsay's case, that's through her legs.

[WENN, Mavrixonline]