Michael Phelps is all pro

In a statement released yesterday, Michael Phelps acknowledged his bad judgment in getting high at a party in November:

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

The story behind the photo from News of the World (Here's my summary: Phelps showed up to a party and acted like he was 23. Shocking!):

It was on November 6, weeks after his Beijing triumph, that 23-year-old Phelps surprised students at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia by showing up unannounced at a house party. He was visiting Jordan Matthews, a girl he was secretly seeing who was a student there.

Our source revealed: “Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.  He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal. He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go. Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.

"You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.” (Source)

So France, how does it feel to get your Olympics ass handed to you by a stoner? Ha ha ha, suckers. Wait, are those tears . . . are you crying? Dude it was a joke, you don't have to act like that, I was kidding. Why are you waving a white towel? Are you . . . are you surrendering? But I'm just talking to you. I don't even have a gun. Stop it. Just stop it.