February 2009 Archives


Pamela Anderson leaving The Ivy restaurant in Beverly Hills (2/25)

+ Remember Darlene from Roseanne? She's fug now. [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Sophie Anderton Nude Pictures for the Paycheck [Egotastic!]
+ Rachel Bilson flashes her new bling [Just Jared]
+ Meredith Vieira upskirt on Ellen's show [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Douche sandwich is a fitting term [The Blemish]

+ If sex was described like a T.G.I. Friday's menu [Holy Taco]
+ Brazil's Carnival is full of painted boobies [Attuworld]
+ Saffi Karina is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Cyrus family in turmoil over Miley's 20-year-old boyfriend [Cele|bitchy]

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Holy shit he is creepy

Wow, is that the creepiest photo you've ever seen of Mel Gibson or what? Holy crap. From the National Enquirer:
Mel Gibson took charge when a woman disrupted services at his Malibu church on Feb. 8, heckling the priest and picking arguments with parishioners. Mel asked the woman to leave Holy Family Catholic Church after the bizarre incident. Once the star got the troublemaker to exit, Mass was able to resume peacefully. (Print Edition - 3/2)
It's nice to see Mel take charge when someone babbles inappropriate things. Too bad he doesn't have that same ability when it comes to monitoring his own mouth. I guess the lesson here is that the next time you attend Mel's Church, if you want him to join in on your rants, you'll have to wait until the appropriate time: when the wine is served.

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Dan Aykroyd has a nice place

Dan Aykroyd's triplex penthouse in Manhattan

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

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Kiefer Sutherland in Manhattan (2/4)

Kiefer Sutherland was in rare form last week at Peter Dillon's bar in Manhattan, getting absolutely trashed and then picking a fight with another bar patron. Hey, at least he kept his pants on this time. An eyewitness told the National Enquirer:
"[Kiefer] initially was soft-spoken, mellow and pleasant. He was ordering Maker's Mark whiskey cocktails and was even posing for some pictures."

But it wasn't long before Kiefer, who has admitted to having a drinking problem, ran into trouble. According to the eyewitness, Kiefer exploded after another patron near the pool tables said something to the actor - and the two ended up in a pushing and shoving match.

"Pals had to hold Kiefer back from decking the guy," continued the eyewitness. "After the incident, Kiefer appeared disheveled and drunk and had to be helped out. He tripped twice on his way out the door, but was apologizing for his actions." (Source)
Getting into a fight with Kiefer Sutherland is a "no-win" situation. If you win, congratulations, you just beat up a forty-something-year-old midget that weighs 75 pounds. And if you lose, congratulations, you just got your ass kicked by a forty-something-year-old midget that weighs 75 pounds. The best thing to do when confronted by an intoxicated Kiefer Sutherland: gently back away, apologize, and politely give him back his Lucky Charms.

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Claudia Schiffer

Supermodel Claudia Schiffer out and about in London (2/25)

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Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt in 2000

Jennifer Aniston mentioned a few weeks ago how she still has all the original answering machine messages that her exes have left her through the years. Well the National Enquirer has a little more on that . . . and by "more" I mean RUN JOHN MAYER, RUN!!!!!!!!! A friend of the star's told the tabloid:
"Jen still loves Brad dearly. Even four years after their divorce, there's still a chunk of her heart that belongs to him. Jen has a box in the back of her walk-in closet where she keeps old taped voice mail messages, love letters and romantic doodlings from Brad. Bizarrely, she still often listens to the tapes and looks at his letters and drawings.

"Jen is very sentimental, but she's also still deeply in love with Brad. She keeps Valentine's Day cards and little trinkets from ex-boyfriends, but it's the Brad-related souvenirs that Jen cherishes the most. When she feels nostalgic, she'll listen to the tapes. She feels it's therapeutic." (Print Edition - 3/2)
Wow, Jen carries around more baggage than Mariah Carey's skycap (AKA Nick Cannon). She's still so infatuated with Brad, at this point it wouldn't surprise me to learn that she sprinkles her morning cereal with some old hair of his she found in a shower drain. Tune in next week when we discover that Jen hasn't washed the sheets since Brad left or disturbed the closet full of clothes he hastily left behind, despite her friends' pleas to call animal control to kick out the family of 'coons that lives within. "YOU TOUCH THAT CLOSET AND I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A COMMON FISH!"

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Eva Longoria bikini pics!

Eva Longoria in Los Cabos, Mexico (April 2006)

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Sean Penn and his shiny new Oscar

So you know how Madonna's new boyfriend looks like he should be getting ready for Junior Prom in a few months? I guess I'm not the only one that has noticed. From UK tabloid The Sun:
Best Actor winner Sean Penn sniped at ex-wife Madonna when they met at an after-show party. Madonna, 50, praised 48-year-old Penn’s winning performance in Milk. But Penn gestured at the singer’s new love, model Jesus Luz, 22, and said: "Thanks. Another kid already?" (Source)
Oh Snap! Madonna got told. Getting called out like that must have made her feel so humiliated and -- who am I kidding? This is Madonna we're talking about here. You could crap on her chest on the fifty-yard-line in the middle of the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl and this chick would still feel no shame. If Sean had really wanted to get under Madonna's skin, he would have made her feel the one way that absolutely drives her crazy: ignored.

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Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo leaving Da Silvano restaurant in New York (2/13)

In an effort to look only slightly overweight again, Jessica Simpson has hired some help. A diet coach. From Star:
Jessica Simpson is seeking the services of a "food cop" to help her regulate her dietary intake and police her expanding waistline. The 28-year-old singing star has become a hot topic of tabloid fodder after debuting a fuller figure at a concert in Florida last month, just re-hired former trainer Mike Alexander to make sure that she sticks to a strict new 1,250-calorie-a-day regimen.

"She just can't resist junk food," a Star Magazine insider explains. "She literally needs to be watched 24/7. Jessica has a problem with binge eating, which is usually triggered by stress. Jessica's most recent violation was indulging in the terrible trio of chicken wings, nachos, and booze at the Great Dane Pub in Madison Wisconsin." (Source)
Jessica doesn't need a "food cop" to help her keep thin -- she needs Samantha Ronson . . . to show her how to use her finger. Of course Jessica could always try what her sister did to improve her appearance: go under the knife change her hair color marry someone that wears more make-up. Bottom line, if Jessica is serious about her desire to start working out, there is one exercise regimen I'd like to suggest: jumping jacks . . . lots of 'em . . . while I watch . . . without my pants on . . . you get the point . . . I really like ellipses . . . and boobs.

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Eva Longoria's marriage on the rocks?

Eva Longoria was spotted at a gas station in L.A. on Tuesday without her wedding ring on, leading many to believe that her marriage to Tony Parker is on the rocks. But not me. I'm sure everything's fine. Don't worry Tony, she probably just misplaced it. Perhaps while having sex with another man? Wait, no, you didn't hear that. Wow, I'm really no good at this whole cheering up thing.