Fatgate: Day Five

Jessica Simpson got fat

You just knew there had to be a Papa Joe Simpson angle somewhere in this Jessica Simpson getting fat story. Via MSNBC:

Before we pity the star for packing on unwanted pounds, let's remember how well weight gain-and-loss stories sell magazines.

"She's loving it," said a source close to Simpson, who suspects her weight gain is strategic. "It will probably get her back on covers right when she is a 'supporting' act on tour. I bet Joe (Simpson) has already sold the weight-loss story." (Source)

Dude, if this shit's true, Joe Simpson is an evil fucking genius. Everyone is talking about Jessica right now. My grandma even called me yesterday because she wanted to know when Jessica Simpson became a competitive eater. I wonder what Joe has in store to get Ashlee back in the news? I can see the headlines now: "Ashlee Simpson Disfigured In Horrible Car Accident Just Two Days Before Her Hot New Album Hits Stores Nationwide."

[WENN, Mavrixonline]

Maniacus

Size 8 and people are bitching??? My god, the pinnacle of teen fashion stores where I grew up was a store simply called 5,7,9 That is a HEALTHY size range for a girl or woman. Not - starving yourself. I want to puke every time I see some emaciated twat walking past me with her ribs being used as a cup holder for her low fat calorie free bottled deer piss water.

I am no chubby chaser, but women are supposed to be soft, warm, curvy, and pleasant to the eye. NOT frail, sickly, bony, and skeleton like. I am not attracted to dead things, or girls pretending to be dead things.

Rock on Jessica!! You have never looked better in my book.

scottrodo

She still looks like a scrawny sack of antlers to me.

Axel

It's official: she's the future Anna Nicole Smith...without the drugs.

Jayded1

I think she is better looking now. Aside from the pant choice that is.

Claudia

SHE'S NOT FAT, SHe'S A BEAUTIFUL DOLL!!!

She just made a mistake when she chose that UGLY clothes.

That high waist and huge bags pants causes her hips and tummy look HUGE and FAT and if on top of that we add that WIDE stamped belt, as a result we get THIS!

Me

SHE'S NOT FAT, SHe'S A BEAUTIFUL DOLL!!!

She just made a mistake when she chose that UGLY clothes.

That high waist and huge bags pants causes her hips and tummy look HUGE and FAT and if on top of that we add that WIDE stamped belt, as a result we get THIS!

Sarah

That would explain the unusually unflattering outfit she was told to wear, then. What woman under 40 chooses pants that look like that? Extra weight and bare arms? And that belt... thing... hrm. Yes, there's a man at work here.

Kap'n Krunch is a douche

Me too Kap'n...nothing makes me want to kill 2,500 innocent people, destroy 3 jumbo jets and two skyscrapers like reading a story about a C-list star in mom-jeams.

Not Kap'n Krunch

He missed you.

Damn.

Kap'n Krunch

The real genius here is milking this stupid, stupid story like anyone cares.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of celebrity stalkers.

Sometimes, I can see bin-Laden's point....

Carlos

Nah, she's just getting fat.

UgliestGuy

Know what else is 'strategic'? Me being ugly and still a virgin! Yeah Baby, I'm a genius! WooHooo!

Cletus Rotini

Jebus, she stole my granddad's dungarees!

DP

Looks like she has her garage door opener on that belt-thing...