"Why won't you just impregnate me?"

Jennifer Aniston is desperate to have twins with John Mayer, so claims Star magazine. From undergoing fertility treatment to increasing her intake of milk and beef, Jen is doing anything and everything to ensure she has twins. Seriously John . . . if you're with Jen right now, find the nearest door and run like you've never run before. I'm talking Forrest Gump style. A source told Star:

"[Jennifer] knows her baby-making years are limited. It's hard for her to think of anything else — she has babies on the brain! [John] ordered a bunch of books on Amazon about pregnancy and parenting. He's just as eager as Jen is. They've discussed how they plan to raise their kids, and they agree on mostly everything. They can't wait to be parents together. She'll try anything to help her chances. Jen has also changed her diet. She's taking a lot of folic acid and has upped her intake of milk and beef — all of which are supposed to increase your chances of having twins." (Source)

Attention single women . . . The best way to stay single? Let the guy you're dating know you're desperate to have kids. You'd have an easier chance keeping a guy telling him the CDC had just quarantined your vag.* Besides, if Jen really wants to be just like Angelina, she doesn't need to get pregnant and have twins. She just needs to start dating guys that are already married.

*See: Madden, Benji

[Pacific Coast News]