Guy Ritchie celebrating his 40th birthday at his pub in London ()

News of the World is alleging that the last time Madonna and Guy Ritchie had sex was sometime in early 2007. Why? Because Madonna's such a musclebound freak of course. From the tabloid:

As their relationship went into meltdown the musclebound singer insisted on sticking to her strict four-hour daily exercise regime despite Guy’s pleas they should spend more time together. It meant the film director went 18 months without having sex with his wife. And on the rare occasions when they did make love, he has told pals it was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle".

A close friend of the couple told us: "He got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day working out. Afterwards she'd be too tired to make love.And towards the end Guy wouldn’t be there. He’d get fed up waiting for her and go down the pub with his mates." (Source)

Have you ever seen a fire hydrant knocked over by a car? It's incredible how high the stream of water shoots out of the ground, usually drenching anyone within twenty feet. All you single ladies in London might want to keep that image in your head before you decide to hook up with Guy Ritchie.

[BauerGriffinOnline]