Lauren Conrad signs book deal

Not just one book deal, three. I hate you MTV, I hate you for creating this no-talent monster. People says:

Conrad, 22, has signed on to write a three-book series of young adult fiction for HarperCollins, the publisher tells People. The books – the first of which is scheduled to hit shelves in the summer of 2009 – will be loosely inspired by Conrad's own experience going from an ordinary teen to a reality TV star.

"It's definitely influenced by my own life," Conrad tells People. "The books are about a girl who moves to L.A. and stars in a reality show, so obviously there are some similarities . . . I'm not trying to do a fictional story based on all my friends in my real life because their stories aren't really mine to tell. Some of the characters may symbolize people in my life, but it is in no way calling anyone out." (Source)

First came Shakespeare. Then Frost. And now . . . Lauren Conrad. Continuing that natural progression, several generations from now our literature will be penned by poo-flinging monkeys. How can Lauren possibly think we'd be interested in a book that's "influenced by her own life"? If people wanted to read garbage about bickering, name-calling, and slander they'd just read this year's election coverage.

[WENN]