Brody Jenner at the 944 magazine Super Bowl party (1/31)

Brody Jenner has an entourage. Go ahead and soak that in for a second. Brody Jenner has an entourage. It's statement's like that that make me angry at life. I hate you life! Via Page Six:

Brody Jenner has his vast entourage of sycophants very well behaved. The hunky star of The Hills showed up at the House of Hennessy/Tao pre-Super Bowl party in Phoenix with 12 pals in tow and stayed incognito all night with a hood pulled over his head. Our spy reports, "When he wanted to leave, he snapped his fingers and said to his crew, 'I'm out!' They all followed instructions and promptly ran after him like a pack of trained dogs." (Source)

I thought groupies were supposed to be chicks? Interestingly enough, the last time I heard a story about a self-righteous egomaniac in a hood who was being followed around by mindless drones, there was a burning cross, incantations, and sodomy involved . . . so a lot like how this story probably ended (minus the cross burning and incantations). As a matter of fact, there's only one way Brody Jenner could get me to follow him around like that: If he promised me a ménage à cuatro with his stepmother and two stepsisters (you know the two).