Sienna Miller broke up Sean Penn's marriage

It was probably Sienna Miller's fault that Sean Penn and his wife of 20 years, Robin Wright Penn, are divorcing. You see, Sienna's a whore and Sean loves whores. A source told the New York Daily News about a recent party both attended:

"Sienna was sitting on Sean's lap. She was dressed very sexily. She had her arm around his neck." That night, claims the source, they stayed up quite late. One Penn friend maintains there was never anything romantic between them. "Sienna is like that with everyone," says the friend. "She's very physical. She drapes herself over people she likes. She doesn't mean a lot by it." (Source)

Weird. Hot blondes sit on my lap and "drape themselves" over me all the time when I visit "Tits and Giggles", and it's never hurt my relationship. Sure when I'm at cocktail parties I sometimes shove $1 bills down random women's dresses and I love glitter more than a 27-year-old male probably should, but what connoisseur of strippers doesn't? . . . Did I mention the smell of coco butter tends to give me wood?