Mary Kate Olsen called instead of 911
The masseuse (Diana Wolozin) who discovered Heath Ledger’s body on Tuesday made three calls to Mary-Kate Olsen before calling 911. After paramedics arrived, she made a fourth call. Us Weekly says:
Police originally said Wolozin made two calls to Olsen for guidance, but they upped the number to four after taking a closer look at Ledger's phone records, the AP reports. Wolozin (who is not listed on the New York State Education Department's Web site, which tracks licensed health care professionals) knew that Olsen's number was programmed into Ledger's phone.Both the New York Post and New York's Daily News reported that Olsen and Ledger had been dating. (Source)
And now a very special Celebslam reenactment:
FIRST CALL:
Ring...
Mary-Kate: Hello?
Masseuse: Hello? Mary-Kate? I just found Heath in his bed and he's not moving.
Mary-Kate: And?
Masseuse: Well, he's not moving and I'm scared. I think -
Mary-Kate: Call me back when it's something important.
SECOND CALL:
Ring...
Mary-Kate: Hello?
Masseuse: He's still not moving and he's covered in pills. I'm scared and -
Mary-Kate: What did I say?! Call me when it's something important!
Masseuse: But-
THIRD CALL:
Ring...
Mary-Kate: What is it now?! I said only if it's important!
Masseuse: But I thought you should know there's a slice of delicious carrot cake still in the fridge with frosting and-
Mary-Kate: What?!!! Holy Shit! Call 9-11 immediately!
FOURTH CALL:
Ring...
Mary-Kate: Hello?
Masseuse: Heath's been pronounced dead.
Mary-Kate: And the cake?
Masseuse: I ate it.
Mary-Kate: Oh thank god. THAT was a close one. Can you do me a favor and wash the inside of that fridge out with bleach?
Is it wrong that the picture here kinda makes me want to do Mary Kate, even with the duckbilled platypus lips?
poor alan get help *sigh*
Cold...
So its wrong then? What about masturbation?
masturbation is a step up
wait, wait...what if after I do her on cum on her pouty lips, and I do it in an angry fashion. Is that cool?
alan better you should whack it like a monkey in a mango tree
Thought about it over the weekend. still want to do her. Sorry. I know have disappointed the world.
Nothing affects MK because she is a slimebag and just moves onto screwing someone else. She is only 21 and has screwed more than hookers in Las Vegas, scumbag!
She has to screw in the first 10 minutes of meeting a guy because NO GUY WOULD DATE HER, SHE HAS NO SUBSTANCE AND IS UTTERLY STUPID.
she was banned from the funeral because they knew Heath considered her only a F U CK BUDDY and STD's were not allowed in. they let Naomi Watts go because she has some class.