It's not a purse. It's European.

Remember Alexandra Paressant? She was the French model that claimed to have had a two month affair with Eva Longoria's new husband Tony Parker. Turns out she's a lying whore. Dana Kennedy over at the Huffington Post (and People magazine) did some digging and found that Paressant pretty much made up everything:

. . . bewildering holes started to appear in her story. Routine checks by a growing team of PEOPLE reporters assigned to the story showed that bookers at the modeling agencies she'd listed had gotten photos, emails and calls from her - but she never showed up in person. Nobody had ever met her.

The photo X17 used to illustrate the increasingly raunchy anecdotes Alexandra was feeding them about Parker appeared to be of a German model named Hana Nitsche.

Even weirder: Alexandra gave me the mobile phone number of her alleged best friend Ornella Irie. When I called "Ornella," the voice that answered was unmistakably Alexandra. "Ornella" was not to be confused with "Olivia Ducreu," a woman Alexandra has called her agent who also is said to be Paressant herself.

Then it turned out that before PEOPLE, there was one small monthly magazine in France called SO FOOT that investigated Paressant. The reporter, Alexandre Gonzalez, was suspicious about Paressant's alleged relationship with Ronaldinho and tracked down Paressant's divorced parents and old friends in her hometown, Le Creusot in Burgundy. Even her mother told Gonzalez that Alexandra always liked to make up stories. (Source)

I knew this story was bullshit. It just didn't add up. Between holding Eva's purse, peeing sitting down, and complaining that the wine cooler he's drinking is too "alcoholy," where does a guy like Tony find the time to bang a French supermodel?