Raúl in Miami (12/25)
Figured I should post some pics of a dude before I lose all my female fans. If you care, that's Raúl González Blanco (aka Raúl), star of Real Madrid. I don't know when Brazil cornered the market on one-name nicknames but I'm kinda jealous. All we have here in America is this stupid 13 trillion dollar economy. No fair!
Philip Green and his daughter Chloe in Barbados (12/27)
That's not his wife, that's his daughter. The man is Philip Green. He's the fourth richest guy in the UK. For his last birthday, his wife bought him a solid gold Monopoly set featuring his own business acquisitions. I got a sweater. Advantage: Philip
Teri Seymour in Barbados (12/28)
Simon Cowell's tapping that. I guess being judgmental has it perks . . . hey you in the back, you're fat. And ugly. But mostly fat. *waits for models to knock down my door*
Nicollette Sheridan in St. Bart's (12/27)
I'm using the rest of the day today to catch up on the roughly trillion bikini pics that were just released. You may want to take a half day or feign illness or something to get home early to the privacy of your dark windowless basement *wink*. Rickets. Tell your boss you have rickets. I'm not exactly sure what it is but it sounds like a bastard.
CLICK HERE for 16 more Nicollette Sheridan bikini pics after the jump...
It looks like a rug
I think Demi Moore forgot that she was born in 1962. She's blaming her husband Ashton Kutcher's new haircut for making her "look old". Mike Walker of the National Enquirer says:
. . . Demi first eyeballed his surprise clip and shrieked: "You look like a little boy - and that makes me look like an old woman!" . . . [Demi] not only refused to go to dinner with him and his new 'do because she was paranoid that people would stare, she put her foot down and ordered: "Grow it out - and NEVER, EVER cut it that short again!" (Source)
Uhh Demi, it's not Ashton's haircut that makes you look old, it's your adult kids/sagging skin/AARP card. Now let me be clear: I wouldn't kick Demi out of bed for wearing Depends but I would make her take her calcium pills before we bumped uglies . . . hip replacements are expensive.
Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson and stepdad Kurt Russell out and about in Aspen, Colorado (12/26)
Mischa Barton (back seat) leaving the West Hollywood Sheriff's Station yesterday
According to a "West Hollywood police source" Mischa Barton had weed and pills on her yesterday morning when she was arrested for DUI. TMZ says:
A West Hollywood police source tells TMZ that when she was arrested, Mischa Barton blew a .12 on her breathalyzer test, smoked marijuana that day (which cops found) and had prescription drugs in her possession -- that weren't hers! Barton was popped at 2:45 AM Thursday in West Hollywood. Cops pulled her over after they witnessed her "straddling two lanes of traffic and failed to signal when making a turn." (Source)
ischa blew a .12? Sounds to me like she was doing it wrong. If she really wanted to get out of the arrest, she should have blown a "5-0". How do you think Britney Spears has never gotten a DUI? Scene plays out the same every time. Britney's asked to walk in a straight line and count down from 20 in increments of 2. By "16" the officer's zipper is down and by "8" she's being told she can drive home as long as she doesn't hit too many more stop signs.
Mischa Barton mug shot
Roseanne Barr
And now a very special Christmas message from Roseanne Barr (posted on her blog RoseanneWorld.com on Christmas day):
Happy birthday Jesus!hope you like the gift we got you: war, hatred, christian inquisition, muslim holy war and jewish jihad, mass materialism, poisoning the planet, locking every one up and letting working class people go broke and move to tent cities, starvation, and more billionaires than ever, and the pope forgiving child molesters, and screwing their victims out of settlement money! Just what you wished for right? Great, we thought so!!! enjoy our gifts in good health! (Source)
I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly?!? Now I know it wasn't the Grinch that stole Christmas--it was Grimace! But seriously, I'm sure the only reason Roseanne was so upset was because her blood sugar was low . . . which tends to happen when she doesn't have a delicious pumpkin pie in one hand and an IV full of glucose in the other.
Leelee Sobieski in St. Bart's (12/17)
Well now I know the reason Leelee Sobieski hasn't worked in four years. She's been too busy staring at herself. Good god. I'm still amazed women above a C cup are able to get anything done in this world. I wouldn't be able to get past the front door every morning. "OK, I'll just look at them one more time in the bathroom mirror but then I have to go to work."
Jessica Alba is engaged
Well this was bound to happen. Jessica Alba and her on again/off again boyfriend Cash Warren are getting married. The couple are expecting their first child next summer. Us Weekly says:
As Us previously reported, Alba and Warren, 28, had split in July after two-and-a-half years together. They reunited in August, around the time their child was conceived."She wanted to get married, but Cash wasn't ready," a source told Us regarding the reason for their split.
Though the engagement is on, the wedding might have to wait until after Alba gives birth (she's about three months along). (Source)
Us says they broke up because Cash wasn't ready to get married, I say it was because I'm so hung. Tomato, tomahto . . .
PICS: Jessica at a West Hollywood gym yesterday
