Paris Hilton in New York City (11/14)

New York men are in trouble. Paris Hilton is contemplating a move to the Big Apple. A NY Post spy at the Green Door club in L.A. overheard Paris tell her sister Nicky the following:

"There are no guys at this party - or in LA in general. New York has so much better guys." (Source)

Well they say bad things come in threes: 9/11, the Knicks, and now Paris. Rumor is--in anticipation of her arrival--the CDC is actually raising the terror threat level to Red/Elevated. Homeland Security agents are being stationed at every NYC port to look for dirty bombs--aka "Paris Hilton's underwear." Things are so dirty, they could contaminate a pool filled with bleach!