Eva Longoria likes wieners

Finally the day we've all been waiting for has arrived. Eva Longoria's beauty secrets have been revealed! The actress tells this Sunday's issue of Parade magazine:

"I think it's a combination of a lot of things. I want to look like Demi Moore when I'm 42. It's obviously emotional health. And it's obviously your physical health, but there's a lot of maintenance involved, and I'm not talking about anti-aging. I'm just talking about general health, getting your checkups and getting your blood tests and making sure you get your mammograms."

"For me, as far as skin, I'm a big advocate of facials. And I moisturize. And I read my magazines. I listen to good advise from people who really know, and I try to watch what I eat. But it's diet. It's exercise. It's maintenance. It's checkups. It's attitude. It's a lot of things. And I think you just need to be aware of what's going to work for you." (Source)

Don't I feel foolish. I've been telling anyone who'd listen that Eva's beauty secrets were heavy foundation, low lighting, and a PR blitz to convince America that an average looking woman is so much more. If the judge ever gives me my binoculars back, I could find 50 chicks at the local high school hotter than her. College. I meant college.