Angelina Jolie and Zahara (9/11)

Angelina Jolie's adopted daughter Zahara, described by Angelina to CNN's Anderson Cooper as an "AIDS orphan," is more "not orphan" than "orphan." In Touch Weekly found Zahara's adoption papers which show the little girl has a grandmother and an extended family in Ethiopia. The magazine did some digging and found that her "extended family" also includes a mother who--you guessed it--wants Zahara back:

"I want my daughter to come home to see where she is from," the woman who says she's Z's mother, Mentewab Dawit Lebiso, tells In Touch. "Her grandmother and I both tried very hard to raise her, and I want her to come home to regain her identity." (Source)

Aw man this sucks for Zahara--she can't go back to Ethipioa. She's already missed those crucial formative years when young Ethiopians build up their resistance to malaria and unpaved roads. And what about the wild animals? A kid can only fend off a lion with a Prada handbag for so long. And I bet her village doesn't even have a full Starbucks, just those shitty kiosks you see in grocery stores where the drinks never taste the same. "Where Starbucks' careers go to die" is what I call them.