I don't know where the hell Lindsay Lohan is getting her spray tan done but she needs to, uhhh, maybe never go there again. I could give her a better look with a bucket of paint and a Precious Moments doll . . . the doll is for me. I can't collect enough of those things. Dammit it's like a sickness.
Evel Knievel died today at the age 69. The daredevil had been fighting diabetes, hepatitis C, and lung disease for several years. Knievel reached Heaven earlier today but God told him to go to Hell. As God turned to walk away, Knievel suckerpunched him and then jumped the gates.
Lindsay Lohan, Riley Giles, and Dina Lohan at Cipriani in NYC (11/20)
Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend Riley Giles didn't exactly impress her family over Thanksgiving when the two went to Long Island. Giles spent most nights of the holiday weekend nights in New York City hitting up clubs--without Lindsay. The New York Post says:
While the fashion-savvy star spent Friday and Saturday shopping at Armani Exchange and Intermix with her mom and sister, her new boyfriend slept late on Saturday, having partied the night before at Pink Elephant. A Lohan friend said: "Riley was not very well behaved when he came back to New York with Lindsay. He was out every night without her, and I'm not sure how much longer that relationship is going to last." (Source)
I completely understand where this guy is coming from. Why should HE have to settle for Lindsay Lohan? I'm sure there are plenty of other hot, young, Hollywood starlets out there that are just aching to hook up with an unemployed, overweight, ex-felon. I bet Riley thinks he's not a one woman man, and he's right--he'll be back to zero in no time.
UPDATE (11/30): Stunning news out of Los Angeles today as E! is reporting that Lindsay and Riley have broken up. Oops, I meant not stunning. Steve Wonder saw that coming.
Kellie Pickler Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader clip
Kellie Pickler of American Idol fame was on the celebrity version of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? last night and let's just say it wasn't the best career move. Actual quotes from her appearance (clip below):
"This might be a stupid question, ok, but like, i though Europe was a country."
"Budapest? I never even heard uh that. Like I know they speak French there, don't they?"
"Like I wanna say . . . is France a country? I don't know what I'm doin'."
I can't explain it but I'm 100% more attracted to Kellie Pickler now. I think it's because she'd be so easy to buy Christmas presents for. Just get her an empty box, a cup and ball, and one of those laser pointers and she'd be entertained for months.
Remember when Akon threw that kid off the stage in June at his concert in Fishkill, New York? The shit finally hit the fan today. The singer is scheduled to appear in court on Monday and be arraigned on charges of endangering the welfare of a minor and second degree harassment, both misdemeanors. BBC News says:
Injured fan Abby Rosa said she had hired a lawyer over the incident. Audience members at the concert told Associated Press a spectator lobbed something at the singer and Akon asked the crowd to point out the culprit. A security guard picked out a 15-year-old and sent him up to the stage, where Akon is said to have picked him up onto his shoulders and threw him into the crowd. Abby Rosa said the boy landed on her. She told a local newspaper she was later diagnosed with a concussion.
Akon's lawyer has said there is no basis for criminal charges. (Source)
No basis for criminal charges? To recap, Akon tossed a 15-year-old kid off a four-foot stage. Said kid landed on top of another kid giving her a concussion. Now I'm not familiar with New York law but I think you're not really supposed to do that. But don't take my word as gospel because I have been wrong before on matters pertaining to the law. Like my voyeurism arrest from earlier this year. Uhhh, if you don't want me looking in your bathroom window, you shouldn't live in a house with such a climbable tree.
Don't even try to act like Kevin Federline didn't beat Puma and become Nintendo Pro Wrestling Champion in 1988. Because he did. Nintendo Fun Club News has the proof. And BTW, Tommy Hazelton is a pussy. I could do 54:50 with my eyes close.
