Angelina Jolie pregnant? I don't think so . . .

Despite what In Touch Weekly may tell you, Angelina Jolie is not pregnant. From the New York Post:

When Angelina Jolie stepped out in a midriff-baring tank top, her emaciated stomach nearly ruined In Touch's plans for this week's cover: "Is Angelina Jolie pregnant?" To protect its story, the glossy bought exclusive rights to the shots of her taut torso "so no other weeklies could run them," said an insider. In Touch claims Jolie gained 10 pounds in her chest, but conveniently cropped the photo above her flat stomach. "When Angelina showed up looking so skinny, they bought the photos," our source said. The mag says, "The most striking area of Angelina's weight gain is in her chest, which is why we focused on that area." (Source)

She gained ten pounds in her chest?!? Holy shit! Aside from "You are NOT the father," is is there any other phrase in the English language more pleasing to a man's ear? I thought this chick was pretty close to perfection before (minus the Holocaust survivor look)--now that she has boobs, she's finally up to my standards. My prediction for next week's headline: "Angelina gains ten more pounds . . . to double the size of her lips!"