Bauer-Griffin

+ Cash Warren cashing in on the Jessica Alba gravy train [I'm Not Obsessed]

+ Wreckless assumption: Winona Ryder probably has an eating disorder [Dlisted]

+ Things Jack Bauer will never say [College Humor]

+ Natalie Portman: Hot Legs [Egotastic!]

+ Adriana Lima has a nice tongue [Bastardly]

+ Jennie Garth owns cleavage [Drunken Stepfather]

+ The new Grey's Anatomy spin-off sucks ass [ICYDK]

+ Cats+Anne Hathaway's boobs=Cat's in Anne Hathaway's boobs [CityRag]

+ Papa Joe confirms Ashlee Simpson's nose job [Cele|bitchy]

+ Reaper is a pretty good new show [Pajiba]

+ J Lo claims she's not pregnant . . . so she's just fat? [Celebrity Warship]

+ Tom Cruise angered by a fart [The Blemish]

+ Elton John has his child porn seized [Derek Hail]

2 Cute 2 Furry-ous: So cute, your heart will turn to glitter.

Chainsaw Bottle Opener: Ever wonder how a derranged killer would open a bottle of beer?