Just 36 hours before her first DUI arrest in May, Lindsay Lohan sat down for a hilarious interview with Elle magazine in which she opened up about her career, love life, and party-girl reputation. In the September issue--on newsstands Wednesday--Lindsay said:

Regarding the constant media attention surrounding her:

“I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel like I’m distracting from the other things that are important, like global warming and that kind of stuff. I genuinely mean that. And I don’t know what to do.”

Regarding her empty trophy case:

“I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I’ve done. It’s so funny – people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old.”

Regarding f-buddy Calum Best:

“I like him. He’s me in male form. We’re very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic – I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We’ll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas … I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, ‘I caught that!’ I was like, ‘Damn, I look good!’

Looking, snorting ... tomato, tomatoh

Regarding how responsible she is:

"They're looking for me, to like trip, so they can be like, 'Oh Lindsay's wasted and driving drunk.' And that's not it. I wouldn't violate. ... I'm much more responsible than that." (Source)

Besides that little piece Hitler did with Family Circle right before he invaded Poland, this is like the funniest interview of all time when viewed in hindsight. Hell, Lindsay even threw in a global warming reference. I'm going to open mic night tonight at the comedy club and just reading this interview. "Almost as funny as he is handsome," the reviews will read, "And incredibly strong. And handsome."