Splash News
Bauer-Griffin
OK I promise you this is the final post of the week featuring one of those bitches from The Hills. It's just that I was blindsided yesterday by a cache of about 75 bikini pics of Lauren, Audrina, and this chick. I think--no, I hope--she's one of the boom mike operators. She reminds me of a semi-retarded Katherine Heigl, only more retarded.
NOTE: That last sentence was pulled directly from my wedding vows. Love ya' honey!
Splash News
Hummingbird shirt? Check. Capris? Check? Tampons? I can't see his back pocket, but I'd have to assume, check. Ashton Kutcher looks like he's ready for a busy day of scrapbooking and bitching about making only 70 cents to the dollar.
Getty
Keira Knightley at the 64th Annual Venice Film Festival on Thursday
Bauer-Griffin
Here's Hayden Panettiere in the October issue of FHM for everyone to masturbate to enjoy. This chick needs to change her freaking last name. Every time I write something about her I manage to misspell it. I blame the inadequate public school system. And lead-based paint. Why does it have to be so damn delicious!
Bauer-Griffin
The declaration Kevin Federline filed against ex-wife Britney Spears on Monday was released today. According to the document, Federline wants a 70/30 custody split of the couples two young sons, Sean Preston, 23 months, and Jayden James, 11 months. It's also revealed that Britney makes an average of $737,868 a month. Or in terms Britney can understand, roughly 180,000 Slim Jims per week--more if she goes to Costco!
Splash News
INFDaily.com
Two singles off of Britney Spears upcoming album (release on 11/13)--"Gimme More" and "Cold as Fire"--were leaked on the Internet late yesterday. I know it sounds like Britney but pardon me for being a little skeptical. Where are the dueling banjos, fiddles, and spoons? And cider jug dammit, I hear no one on the cider jug! F-A-K-E
Check out both of Britney Spears' new singles after the jump...
Bauer-Griffin
+ Jennifer Garner's orgasm face is pretty damn funny [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Check out Miss Teen USA 2007 Lauren Caitlin Upton [Bastardly]
+ Flashback: Sharon Stone Topless Pictures [Egotastic!]
+ Shia LaBeouf is banging Rihanna? [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ Two new Britney songs leaked [Dlisted]
+ Mariah Carey nipple slip (semi-NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Salma Hayek will not be a housewife [Lossip]
+ Lindsay Lohan caught doing drugs--and a dude--in rehab? [Yeeeah!]
+ Jude Law could do better [ICYDK]
+ Celebrity lesbian crushes [CityRag]
+ Tom and Katie's bodyguard tells all! [popbytes]
+ Nicole Richie is a famewhore again [The Evil Beet]
+ Bridget Moynahan is a bitch [Celebrity Warship]
Simpsons Star Wars: Made by Comic Book Guys, for Comic Book Guys.
Parking Garage Mishap: "I thought "D" meant "Don't Move!"
Pearl bracelets? Paris keeps pushing the sexual envelope further and further!
Can you beat my caption?
Winner, decided by me and posted next week, to receive $10 Amazon.com gift code (will be emailed).
Winner: Congratulations to this week’s winner Randi:
The Paris Hilton — the only Hilton you can afford to get into. Twenty dollars buys you a spacious interior with front and rear access. Everyone welcome - no reservations required. Special rates for double and even triple occupancy. Pets allowed. Be warned: This Hilton is known for its frequent infestations and you are advised to wear a raincoat while inside. Short term occupancy only.
Check back this Friday for new contest.
