Red carpet at the 2007 ESPY Awards. The belly of the beast. I was there. Thanks to the kind folks over at Buzznet, I got my hands on a media credential. Celebslam had it's own tiny piece of the red carpet. To my left, the Los Angeles Times; to my right, ESPN.com. It took about two minutes before I received my first dismissive glance from one of the "real" journalists. I felt right at home. As for the red carpet, it's basically a clusterfuck of activity with megastar athletes and b-list celebrities passing by every minute. Like some team of back-alley matchmakers, publicists walk around asking everyone if we "want" their marginally famous celebrity/athlete. No I don't want to talk to Amanda Beard, now get the hell out of here, you're blocking my view of Maria Sharapova's ass.

Since I love sports, through the day I found myself acting more like a fan and less a journalist. Basically I took a shitload of pictures and bullshitted with a few of the athletes. Gred Oden's cool. Terrel Owens is kind of a dick. If the pics look amateurish, that's because an amateur took them (me). I'll be posting pretty much every single picture I took over the course of today and tomorrow. After lunch today, I'll be revealing which celebrity has the hairiest tits I have ever seen.

NBA star Lebron James:

Tennis star Maria Sharapova:

Actor Christian Slater:

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps:

IndyCar driver Danica Patrick: