This morning's New York Post has an update on the Christina Aguilera pregnancy rumors:
Rumors that Christina Aguilera is expecting a baby "are definitely true," according to a well-placed Page Six source. "She's been telling friends," said one snitch, who revealed, "she has to be three months now, because she's announcing it." This would be the first for Aguilera and her husband, Jordan Bratman. (Source)
Now I know the trendy thing to do lately has been to bash Jordan's looks. I mean it doesn't take much talent or imagination to say this dude's ugly ... which is exactly why I'm gonna bash his looks in this post (trends rule!). Can you imagine what this baby is going to look like? It'll be a cross between Dumbo (Bratman's ears) and the Petri dish in High School Biology class that you used to grow spores and yeast in (Christina's vagina). Doctors won't know whether to vaccinate it for Herpes or feed it peanuts. Or, ya know, it just could turn out totally normal.
WTF? Who wears pantyhose anymore? Especially in a tropical location? Can you say "yeast infection breeding ground"?
Yeah, who the hell wears pantyhose anymore! She needs to learn from her husband. Straw skirts baby, now THAT is what everyone's wearing right now, especially in the North Pole!
What difference does it make what he looks like? Are you screwing him? What do you look like? I will be sure not to confuse this site with that of something a "real" journalist would write.
Candy: You must be new here. And by "new here" I mean read the fucking title of this site.
Nick
Editor
Celebslam.com
Hahahaha
I get such a kick out of people getting offended by this site.
And the bonus journalist insult....golden! I know I thought this was the new york times when I first posted here...
Omg that is soooooooooooo mean wat yr sayin bout him any money ur not exactly gurjes so wat is the need all that matters is that he makes her hapi and 'm sure chritsian will love her baby no matter wat and anywayz so shud u if yr her true fan!!! :@