You know those female celebrities whose beauty has held up so well they've looked 35 for like the past 20 years? I don't know if it's their genes or just healthy habits, but they've somehow figured it out. While they occasionally have their off days, for the most part they always look great. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah? Well Sharon Stone fucking hates those bitches.
Looks like Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo forgot about a little thing called the paparazzi on their recent trip to Mexico. It's almost as embarrassing as that time I went to my sister's wedding and forgot her gift. And my pants.
NOTE: Pics are all from Life & Style magazine, hence the censoring. I'll do my best to find the uncensored. In the mean time, here's some Vanessa bikini pics to keep you tided over.
UPDATE (8/17/07): Found some!
Looks like she's finally over her meth addiction ... at least her lower half is. Damn! For the record, Stephanie (aka Jodie Sweetin) is at the L.A. opening of the Pink Taco, Lindsay Lohan's ex-bf's restaurant chain.
NOTE: You'll notice the head has been cut from all the pictures ... trust me ... just trust me
Scarlett Johansson is pissed at ex-boyfriend Josh Hartnett. The pair dated for two years before breaking up under less than amicable terms at the end of 2006. Now Scarlett thinks Josh is trying to hook up with her friends as payback. From the National Enquirer:
Furious Scarlett's telling insiders Josh "is just trying to get back at her for breaking up with him!" A mutual pal says unrepentant Josh rages that dating Scarlett "took five years off his life" because of her demanding, controlling ways – and he "doesn't feel beholden to spare her feelings" if he happens to feel like phoning one of her friends. (Source)
I wouldn't mind dating a "demanding" and "controlling" Scarlett Johansson. She could wear the leather, I could wear the nipple clamps ... or vice versa. As a matter of fact, she's so fine, I wouldn't care HOW strange/weird that chick was, I'd still date her. About the only thing that could come between us is if she had a bigger package than I did ... and I'd probably get over that eventually!
... because his best bud, David Beckham, is moving to the United States soon. From People magazine:
The Cruises and the Beckhams are longtime pals, and Cruise and wife Katie Holmes recently helped their friends celebrate their final night in Spain before their move. How does Tom Cruise feel about David and Victoria Beckham's upcoming move to Los Angeles?"I'm very happy about that," he told People Thursday in Amsterdam. Asked if he thinks the soccer player and his wife will become big Hollywood stars, Cruise, 44, replied: "They already are." (Source)
"Happy" ... isn't that a bit of an understatement? I mean, have you seen Beckham's abs? And those biceps? Guy obviously works out. I bet Tom twirls his hair and giggles like a schoolgirl every time he thinks about him.
NOTE: I like to imagine Tom's personal notepad looking something like this:
Katie Holmes is 28. Her hands are 73. Miracle of science? Yes my friends, miracle of science.
Brad Pitt is so desperate for loyal fans he's buying them for $100 a pop. From Mike Walker of the National Enquirer:
Hey, George Clooney and Matt Damon – bow down and accept your master, Brad Pitt!The three personable stars, all smoothies at winning fans, worked the crowd hard at the "Ocean's 13" premiere, wading into the mob and pressing flesh (Editor's Note: heh heh heh). But after posing for pics with two female Japanese tourists, smiling Brad reached into his pocket, pressed a $100 bill into the palm of each astonished woman and told them: "Go out and have a good time in America!" (Source)
This story brings back the memories! When I was a little boy my Uncle Larry used to set to me on his knee and tell me about the times when he was on vacation and handed out $100 bills to random Asian women he'd never met ... the only difference is he always had to get a shot of penicillin when he came home. *rimshot*
NOTE: These pictures are old but still a personal favorite of mine. Dude is actually smoking while playing basketball.
Larry King: Have you ever been addicted to drugs?
Paris Hilton: No
Larry: Taken drugs?
Paris: No
Larry: Never taken drugs?
Paris: Uh-Uh
Read more about last night's interview here.
