You may have heard earlier this week about Paula Abdul breaking her nose after she supposedly "tripped" over her pet chihuahua, Tulip. Abdul told reporters: "It hurt so bad . . . I fractured my toe, as well." A source told the New York Post that Paula is basically lying her ass off:

"Paula did not break her nose. She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula's nose didn't seem swollen," said our spy. A rep for Abdul termed the account "absolutely, categorically untrue." (Source)

When they say Abdul's "fans" were perplexed, which fans are they referring to? A Paula Abdul fan is about as hard to find as a woman's g-spot ... for some guys that is. But certainly not me, he he he. No way. Nope ... What? Don't look at me like that ... fine, I'm lying. I'm a virgin. Happy now? Dick.

By the way, don't laugh about Paula's chihuahua excuse. Those little suckers can be EXTREMELY dangerous--especially this guy: