Check out these pictures of John Travolta at a barbecue over the weekend in Oahu, Hawaii. You can literally see him getting fatter. I heard a rumor that even though John owns like nine jets, he still has to buy two seats whenever he flies. FAA regulations or something. On the brightside, his ass is so big he doesn't need a copilot.
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer tried to rekindle their romance over Memorial Day weekend by jetting away to a romantic resort in Los Cabos, Mexico. And judging by these pictures of the couple fighting on the balcony of their $2,400/night suite, it couldn't have gone any worse. Any more hand motioning by Jessica and Jimmy Carter would have been legally required to fly in and mediate peace talks. And since the former President was at a pretty kick-ass barbecue over the weekend, he would have been pissed! Trust me, you do not want to get in the way of Jimmy Carter and beef brisket. Many have tried, many have died.
Remember when I made the joke last Wednesday that Paris Hilton has taken up so many religions that she'd probably be "wearing a burqa by Saturday." Well she wore a makeshift burqa last Saturday. So clearly I have some kind of supernatural power that allows me to see into the future. This newfound power should make the upcoming WNBA season even more exciting--if that's even possible. $100 on the L.A. Sparks!
Actress/pothead Mischa Barton was rushed to the hospital Sunday night after suffering an "adverse reaction to medication"--the type of reaction that usually occurs when you mix alcohol with prescription medication. TMZ says:
Sources tell TMZ that the former "OC" star was at a friend's Memorial Day BBQ enjoying a few holiday cocktails when she began to feel extremely ill. Mischa, who has been quite sick with bronchitis since traveling to Cannes, London and Paris the past several weeks, apparently didn't get the memo -- you can't drink alcohol while taking antibiotics! The 21-year-old celeb was rushed to an undisclosed medical facility in Los Angeles, where we are told she is "resting comfortably." (Source)
First Paris gets thrown to jail. Then Lindsay gets busted for DUI and [most likely] cocaine possession. And now Mischa is hospitalized with an "adverse reaction to medication." If this doesn't prove to you atheists once and for all that God exists I don't what more you need.
odel and Australian Big Brother contestant Krystal Forscutt
More Krystal Forscutt pictures after the jump...
After a long night of drinking at Hollywood hot spot Les Deux, Lindsay Lohan was arrested early this morning after crashing her Mercedes into a tree on the corner of Sunset Blvd. and Foothill Dr. After the crash, being the responsible citizen she is, Lindsay remained on the scene until authorities arrived:
"Lindsay got out of the car straight away and ran to a nearby house. She seemed to be speaking to a security guard," an eyewitness revealed, "Her driver then came along and moved the wrecked car out of the way before taking Lindsay home." (Source)
Wow, I was way off on that one. Well at least the police didn't find any hard drugs like cocaine in Lindsay's car:
Officers at the scene found a "usable amount" of a drug tentatively identified as cocaine, Lt. Mitch McCann said at an afternoon news conference ... He declined to say where the drug was found other than to say Lohan was not carrying it. (Source)
Man, I suck at this. Incidentally, after Lindsay had escaped the scene she went to the Century City Hospital where she was treated for minor injuries in the "upper chest area" (Editor's Note: not the boobies!). Lindsay was placed under arrest at the hospital. In conclusion, Lindsay Lohan is fucked. The end.
In other Memorial Day Weekend news, apparently Farmer John's new 100% all beef franks are enough to satisfy even the hungriest of partygoers.
BONUS PICS: Lindsay shortly before the accident. She barely looks completely drunk:
UPDATE: A few more crash scene pics:
You may have heard earlier this week about Paula Abdul breaking her nose after she supposedly "tripped" over her pet chihuahua, Tulip. Abdul told reporters: "It hurt so bad . . . I fractured my toe, as well." A source told the New York Post that Paula is basically lying her ass off:
"Paula did not break her nose. She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula's nose didn't seem swollen," said our spy. A rep for Abdul termed the account "absolutely, categorically untrue." (Source)
When they say Abdul's "fans" were perplexed, which fans are they referring to? A Paula Abdul fan is about as hard to find as a woman's g-spot ... for some guys that is. But certainly not me, he he he. No way. Nope ... What? Don't look at me like that ... fine, I'm lying. I'm a virgin. Happy now? Dick.
By the way, don't laugh about Paula's chihuahua excuse. Those little suckers can be EXTREMELY dangerous--especially this guy:
Jessica Simpson posted a new message to her fans yesterday on SweetKisses.net ("Uniting Jessica Simpson Fans All Over The World"). It was a typical Jessica Simpson kind of message where she quotes Michelangelo and ... ummm ... wait, what? From her official site:
Hey everyone. I hope you are all doing well! I am getting ready to start MAJOR MOVIE STAR and I am so excited! I just got back from spending some time in Europe, and while I was there I visited many museums, and have been reading about different artists. I have also been writing a lot in my journal recently. I was reading a book about Michelangelo and there were 2 quotes that caught my attention -"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Michelangelo
^(3)Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.^(2)
These quotes inspired me to write the below passage. I hope you can find your own individual meaning in it, as I keep coming back to it and find new strength.
"Sometimes we are all so afraid to be honest with ourselves because we know that honesty will lead us somewhere off the path of the life we've mapped out in our minds. Today, I challenge us to ask ourselves this...
What if we allow our fear to provoke us into action?
Can facing our fear be what walks us to somewhere better?
I do not have your answers, but in the quest to find my own, I've discovered somewhere worth traveling to...
In my life, I ignore my fears too often, but then I'm left with nothing to challenge the best of me. I just remain cowering from my true identity. There is no discovery." (Source)
She means Michaelangelo the Ninja Turtle who loves pizza and street justice, right? Because there's no way Jessica Simpson is reading and quoting Michelangelo the 16th Century painter and sculptor. We're talking about the same bitch who once called the Beverly Hills Library "Satan's Lair"*
*may or may not be true
